Saturday, February 26, 2011

Teenage Girls, John Hughes, Dating, and Me

In my house we have two teenage girls. I cannot begin to tell you the drama that can ensue. If it's not one thing it's another. Someone was in someone else's room, someone borrowed a shirt without asking, someone looked at someone wrong. That's just between them. Mix in two parents and a little brother and stir and you have all the makings of a reality show waiting to happen.

My husband while he is a wonderful husband and equally wonderful father likes to tease the children. He is actually quite the instigator. While they were all best of friends when the girls were young, they are older now and somehow have lost the comradery that they once shared. Dad isn't as funny as he used to be. The girls aren't as laid back and forgiving as they once were. All of a sudden or perhaps it only seems all of a sudden to us as we still see our children as just that...children. They seem to have gone from cute cuddly little babies and adorable funny toddlers to angsty teenagers over night. When I think back to my teenage years and all the teenage movies I watched, I just can't remember John Hughes covering this topic.

How did we get here? Where is my movie to draw information from. I know how teenagers can be. I was once a teenager and I now have two of them. What I don't know is how I get myself caught up to it. I also have no idea how the personality can switch over night...nay every moment. One minute you are having a perfectly normal conversation with said teen and the next minute they are madder than a wet hornet and you are left wondering what it is you said to make them mad. Are there research studies being done? Is this normal?

I am pretty sure I was exactly the same way, although to get me to own it would take a tremendous amount of coaching and perhaps a certain amount of rewards like one would reward a child for doing the right thing. I prefer to look back at my childhood and remember myself as the perfect child a parent could ever have. Perhaps this is going to certain extremes on my part but as I haven't any comparison I can claim it. Being an only child does have that one perk. When my counterparts were all off experimenting with drugs, or alcohol, or smoking, or sex, I was watching television where families stayed together and hoping one day I could be a part of one that did. I was also very busy planning my wardrobe and wondering if I had the right shoes to go with every outfit. Fashion was very important to me, and while I did have my eye on boys and thought about them often I was not interested particularly in anything permanent. Boys were for buying you food so you could avoid salmon patty night at home and giving you a ride home so you didn't have to call mom for one. They really had no other function in my mind. I desperately wanted out of my house and I was sure that if I could only get discovered as the fashion icon I imagined myself to be, I would soon enough end up in Chicago living my dream of life in a big city traveling to buy clothes FOR Bloomingdale's not just FROM Bloomingdale's. Because of course when you are the one doing the buying for the big store I was pretty sure one of the perks would be FREE clothes.

My own daughters while they notice certain boys and are fond of them, see them much the same way as I did. They are teenagers but not yet of dating age. They won't be allowed to even think of being somewhere other than school with a boy. No group date, no date date, period end of thought. If you can't drive yourself home from any situation you may face, you have no business being there. Any boy who would come to call on one of my daughters will be questioned extensively before she will ever enter a car with him. No honking of the horn for her to come out, if you aren't man enough to meet the parents, you aren't worthy of my daughter's time. I'm thinking of making up a written exam. Such questions that would be required on the exam would be as follows...

1. When driving where do your hands go? Of course the appropriate answer would be ten and two. Because your hands do not belong anywhere on my daughter. No holding of the hands, no hand on the thigh. If you are that distracted you could end up in an accident and I will hold you personally responsible for any harm that may come to my child because of your stupidity.

2. Do you own your car? Not did your parents pay for it. Did you save money to buy your own car? This shows that you can stick to a goal. If you have everything handed to you on a silver platter, chances are you are going to expect my daughter to hand things to you that you are not going to get. (Side note: My daughters do have very good right cross punches and will not take kindly to your unwanted advances. Also if you try something and I find out about it I will call your mommy.)

You may think that I am getting a little carried away. After all I did date when I was a teenager. Maybe not as long as some but I did date and I had plenty of friends who dated a LOT. I know the stories. Some I wrote. This is why I need my movie. My oldest daughter is very close to turning fifteen. My time is running out here. That dating age is approaching swiftly. I can only hope that she will still have her heart set on Daniel Radcliffe and find all other boys lacking. At present she finds all the boys at school quite immature and lacking in some form or another. I relish in this. In fact when I hear stories from my friends about how their daughters have boyfriends or like this boy or another, I chuckle inside. I think better them than me by golly. How lucky am I that I don't have to deal with all of this? Lucky indeed! But soon and without warning just like the teenage years themselves, it will be upon me.

Some boy whom I haven't met yet or who doesn't even know her yet will one day look up and see her. He will hear her laugh and think it sounds like church bells on Sunday morning. He will see her smile and think it is as beautiful as the sunrise. He will look into her heart and mind and find what I know is already there. The love and beauty of a thousand angels. Then he will ask her out. All I can say for him is...I hope he tests well.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Facebook, Freecell, and Me

I am not good at sitting still. Rarely will you find me just sitting. I will sit and read a book. I tend to get engrossed in a book. I imagine that I'm there, that I'm a character in the book. I see what they see, I feel what they feel. I imagine at times that I can do great things. Of course once the book is placed on the table and I have to be done reading for the day because of course I do have other responsibilities, I'm reminded that there really is very little that I can do or at least do well. At least if you are comparing me to the character in a book.

When watching television I find it next to impossible to just sit and stare at the television. I have to be doing something else besides. I am folding laundry or I'm playing Boggle with my husband. If after the children are in bed, I have my chores completed for the day I will sit down with my laptop and watch television. While I am watching my television show, on DVR of course because I don't have the attention span to get through all the commercials, I will get on facebook. There was a time when I would be playing the plethora of games available on facebook to play. I have all the farms and animals and restaurants. What I found was that in getting involved with all those games, I wasn't actually relaxing and having fun. It got to be too much, my crops needed tending, my animals were going to the pound, it was all very stressful. So I gave it up.

When I get on facebook I read to see how all my friends are doing. I think of something that I find amusing and make that my status and then facebook gets put into the background on my computer. Then I watch my show and play freecell. Sometimes I play this for a few minutes, sometimes I play it until my hotty hubby gets home from work.

I wonder at times how others spend their free time. When your housework is done, because you have taught your children to do work to earn money, and your children are in bed and your husband is at work, how do you spend your time? I suppose I should work out. It is unlikely though, of course, if I didn't get a work out in during the day when everyone was out of the house that I'm going to spend my evening doing so. So I spend my free time either reading a book or watching television while facebook is on in the background of my freecell game. I am determined to get my winning percentage up. I like freecell. There are no imaginary crops or animals to kill, there are no restaurants to bankrupt, there isn't even a little Yoville person who is likely to become homeless because I didn't make it go to work or redecorate her house.

So am I the one most likeley of all my friends to be on facebook? I suppose I am. Which is really quite ironic as I never really wanted a facebook. The main reason that I got a facebook is because my best friend lives well over an hour away. She got one and told me it would be a great way for us to communicate with each other for free. So I guess we can all thank Christi for all my little blurbs on facebook. All those Confessions of a Middle-Aged Drama Queen Status updates, all the movie quotes, all the descriptions of why it's not necessarily good to have me as a neighbor, all the claims of meals gone horribly wrong are thanks to Christi saying how about you get a facebook so we can talk for free even though we can talk for free with our Verizon to Verizon cell phone plan.

So me on facebook is a bit different than others. The way I figure it, no one really cares about what I had for lunch unless it was truly amazing. If it was as sometimes it is, I include a picture of it. No one really cares about meaningless drivel. So I like to tell a story. I am a happy person. I enjoy my life and feel very blessed to live the life I have so I won't be complaining on facebook about how the entire world is against me. As I see it I'm blessed to wake up in the morning as I'm not guaranteed a single day. So I sometimes think of things to inspire, sometimes I think of things to make people smile. I guess in my mind I think that perhaps if at one point in a day I was able to make someone smile who may have been having a bad day then that day was a day well spent.

So... what do you do in your spare time?

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Valentine Party or Shake it UP!

Valentine's Day. That single day on February fourteenth seems to make plenty of people for lack of a better word...crazy. When little girls are little girls the only Valentine they want or need is their daddy. When they are teenagers however, it becomes such a big deal to have a Valentine that they spend the next several years hating the day until they too, have a Valentine of their very own.

Well I have have had the same Valentine for the last twenty one years. While I am thankful for such a blessing, for me it's just another day to spend with the one I love. I don't need to commercialize it. I don't need the heart box of candy or the flowers that will wilt and die. I suppose once you've been with the same person for so long, just being together is in and of itself the gesture. If you spend your whole life waiting for gestures you will always spend it wanting instead of spending it living. This Valentines Day I spent at a 4H meeting with my kids. I did prepare a lovely meal for the family and I did get plenty of hugs and kisses. Things I never take for granted and am thankful each day for.

This year was different in one respect. We did go this weekend to a Valentine's Party with our Sunday school class. Twelve couples gathered together for food, fellowship and fun. And fun we did have. I can honestly say that I cannot remember laughing so hard for a very long time.

The meal was wonderful. Appetizers that included a crab dip that I will long for for days to come. Salads, pork chops, cheesy potatoes, green beans, rolls and desserts. I cannot begin to describe the desserts, but I will try of course. There was this peanut butter and chocolate dessert that would make Reese cry. There was this sort of a cookie/brownie type thing that was delightful as well as perhaps a dirt pudding. All of it was wonderful and I will have to walk 10,000 miles to work all that I consumed off.

The best part however, was the entertainment. Minute to Win It! If you have seen this particular game show you know that you have a minute to win it. We were working toward collecting the most cards for the grand prize. Unfortunately this is a game of pure luck not a game of how well you know your partner. As I was sure that we would have that sort of game locked up. As it was we were only able to collect two cards and four cards won. We stacked apples. I kept thinking the entire time of the Dr. Seuss book Ten Apples Up On Top! As I stacked my five apples I kept thinking of that book and was thankful that I only had to stack them on a table and not on my head. I actually thought when I let go they would all tumble down but they stayed. No one was more surprised than I was. Also after twelve people had their hands on your apples, I'd just make sure you peel them before consuming them.

So we all stacked apples, we stacked nuts, we stacked dice on a popcycle stick that was in our mouth. We attempted to get an Oreo from our forehead to our mouth without using our hands. But the most entertaining of all games played last night was this... Take a tissue box put a belt through it and fill it with jingle bells. Fasten the belt around your rear and then with out using your hands get the jingle bells out of the box. Oh and no you cannot simply stand on your head like one tried to do. Apparently that is too easy. I personally thought it was impressive and there is no possible way I could ever stand on my head or hands. So you must bounce. Like Tigger in Winnie the Pooh. Bounce! Talk about shaking your groove thing. Three grown men and one grown woman were all that was brave enough to attempt this fete. It was the funniest thing I think I have ever witnessed. The laughter that this brought about was vast. In fact long after the party, after I was tucked into bed I was till giggling about it.

We then played a version of the Newlywed Game. We were asked questions about which couple would be most likely to do certain things. The couple who got the most votes for each question won. I'm pretty sure the last question was thrown in just so I could win. The question being "Who would most likely be on facebook if they weren't here tonight." Of course everyone chose me. Which will lead to the next blog I intend to write entitled "Facebook, Freecell, and Me" about a woman who can't sit still to watch television but must always be doing something. By the way the Hershey kisses that I won for that question were delightful.

This was our first Valentine party. We had no idea what to expect. We had a great time and are so happy that we went. We are blessed to go to church with wonderfully insightful, charming, warm, friendly people and as we found out last night they are also quite hilarious. So when I think back on the evening for the next few days I will remember not that apparently I'm perceived as the one most likely to be on facebook, because let's face it I probably am, but I'll remember a fun evening among friends.

Monday, February 14, 2011

How Deep is Your Love?

On this Valentines Day, I am feeling very blessed. It does not escape my notice that I have been very blessed indeed. My husband and I have been married for almost sixteen years. We have been together for twenty one. We met our senior year in high school.

I was this skinny girl with the big eighties hair. I went to school and then went to work at the mall. I spent my entire check on clothes at the "cool" store in the mall and gas to get to work and back. I was neither too pretty or too ugly and I was far from popular. I also had the worst self esteem, which I'm trying to this day to outgrow.

He was this cute brown haired, puppy dog brown eyed guy. He was neither too tall or too short. He was just the right height for a short girl like me and his eyes were nothing short of dreamy. They still are. I remember the night we met as clearly as if it were yesterday. I was friends with his next door neighbor. She was dating a friend of his. They invited us over on the same night. He almost didn't show. I am so glad he did. To this day I have no idea where her parents were. We sat around in awkward silence drinking Coke and playing with these little pink plastic bugs that would jump whenever you pushed on their bottoms. My friend and her boyfriend left to go pick up a pizza leaving us there alone to talk. We talked and I always say when he flipped the pink plastic bug into my coke I knew. I waited days for him to call me and ask me out. He eventually did and him spilling water on me and me singing in the car to Janie's Got a Gun didn't scare either of us off.

I remember the first kiss. The first kiss that ever took my breath away. The kind that you feel all the way down to your toes. Our first Valentine's Day he was taking a class at the local college. The snow totals were accumulating and yet he didn't go home after class. He trecked to my house to bring me flowers, candy, and card. My mother loved him. I have always said and still believe to this day that they would trade me for him any day of the week and twice on Sunday. He used to write me poems and love letters. When we were in college they came in the mail regularly. We would write of our hopes and our dreams and how one day we would get married and the waiting would be worth it.

It was. We were together five years before we married. Finishing college was the best decision we made. As we go into this day after all these years we realize that every day is a gift. We know that each day not just Valentine's day is cause for celebration. We were in the store last week and picked out cards for each other. We read them then put them back on the shelf. We used the card money to buy a soft drink in the check out line. I've had the big gesture. Actually if you think about it, I'm living the big gesture. I'm married to the most amazing husband and father. If I knew nothing else other than the fact that he would one day become the father to our children that he is today, it would have been enough.

Isn't that how true love works afterall? My Heavenly Father reminds me daily that with great sacrifice comes great reward. I still have every letter and poem from those early years. I still have the pink plastic bug that he flipped into my Coke too. Those were the beginnings of our love, the greatest gesture however, is in the sticking it out arm in arm up the hills and down the valleys of life. So I guess when the song says "How deep is your love?" I'd have to reply with another great song that says "There ain't no mountain high enough."

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Who REALLY pays the "Monthly Bill"?

From Barbie Dolls to Training Bras, when the monthly bill arrives, who REALLY has to pay the bill. You know what I'm talking about, that monthly bill you can't pay with the checkbook. When I was a kid we always said that our Aunt Flo had come for a visit. She is the worst aunt ever by the way, and at our house she comes three times a month. So we have the pre, the during, and the post which is really just a lead in to another pre for someone else. It never ends... ever.

I have heard an urban myth that when women live together their cycles tend to align. In the last four years the stars have only aligned for this to happen once. Which is why I believe it may be an urban myth. Not even two of us get the same week. Three females with two males living in one house with cycles all out of line. I have told my friends that if you want to pray for someone, pray for the men who live in my house. I am sure there are worse fates. However, when the monthly bill arrives in our house, EVERYONE pays for it.

I have convinced myself that I should buy stock in my old friend Midol. She is a great friend really. She keeps all of our sanities in check. That and of course the numerous cappuccino drinks that I've taken to drinking to give me energy to keep up with it all. Of course the only thing that is doing for me is adding to the ever expanding waist line. This does nothing at all to help with my poor body image. Especially, when that monthly bill arrives and you're bloated and you're carrying more water weight than Shamu.

I sometimes think back to my formative years and remember those early years with my aunt. In the year or so prior to her first visit, I remember being excited and ready to be a "woman". Of course, I also remember after her first visit thinking perhaps it might be better to be able to pee outside. At least that wouldn't be painful or necessarily messy. My mother's best friend had brought me this big box full of necessities. I was prepared. Well prepared in the box full of products that did not include things such as Midol and Pamperin. The box also didn't include a heating pad or warning label as to what all this entailed and how long this thing was going to go on.

When my first child recieved her first visit, she was devestated. Far from the excitement I had. She wanted to know how long this thing was going to last. I said well...for about a week every month till you are maybe fifty or so. She was furious! She said... Seriously? I ask you a simple question and you can't even give me a real answer! I then had to remind her of my age and that mine still came every month. When she realized I was serious, she was even more devestated than before.

While I'm sure that boys have their issues, as I'm sure to find out now that I have a son who in just a few short years will be entering puberty. I have to say even with all the drawbacks that come with the monthly bill I rather enjoy being a woman. The wardrobe is just so much better. Just in the shoe department alone, I would never make it as a man. That and the fact that they pick a hairstyle and go with it, forever.

I guess while the payment in the monthly bill can be high especially in those first few years while adjustments are being made, it's all worth it in the end. If nothing else it is certainly an exercise in patience and learning to be accepting of all people no matter what their mood or yours may be. As I tell my kids, you may not be able to control what is happening to your body at present, you CAN control how you react to it. If all women everywhere acted like crazy people when they had their "special" time it would be the end of the human race. I am sure that if the women didn't kill each other the men would get sick of all the nonsense and off them themselves. Forget dinner being ready on time, the complaining is just too much, they'd all just go back to hunting and putting a pig on the spit for dinner. And really? The words pig and spit and dinner just don't belong in the same sentence. Which is why I believe Prayer, Midol, and the ocassional cappuccino to be the best remedy or payment as the case may be.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Prize Fighter or "A" for Effort!

As some of you may know I'm a bit of a klutz. What you may not know is that I can be very determined. Especially when it comes to beating a piece of machinery. So this story begins with a girl and dream. A dream to get back to the size I was a very short time ago. If you don't know a few years back I spent an entire year working on losing close to 60 pounds. I ate healthier and I exercised daily. I never felt better in my life. I told myself I would never go back. I would stay at it and keep fit.

The problem with feeling great is, once you are there you think you will always feel that way. So you (read I) tend to get too comfortable. Surely a bit of ice cream with fruit won't do much harm. Well just a small piece of cake would be ok. I'll work it off. Then life happens. You get busy and you stop going to the gym. Fast food is easier and you only know how to make about five dishes anyway so you (again read I) eat out more and more. Then one day you wake up and WOW these pants are tight! I must have left them in the dryer too long. That must be it. So you dry your pants in damp dry and they are still tight.

So I decided to take action. I don't like to drive and I was actually unaware I was still a member at Curves (Yes it had been so long I had forgotten, I may have even had a dream it closed. Surely this happens to others). So I started using the wii fit. This seems harmless enough. Until the bloody thing starts groaning every time to step onto the balance board. Then you aren't quite as quick or strong or balanced as you thought you were, and that doggon mii shakes it's little head at you and pounds on the ground in frustration. I couldn't take it anymore. So I did what any reasonable person would do, I went to the boxing selection. What better way to take out your frustrations right?

Wrong! I couldn't get past two stars. TWO STARS? Really? I mean I'm throwing punches here that would make Mr. Tyson himself proud. Why I bet even Mr. Ali would have been impressed with my moves. After all one time about ten years ago I took a kickboxing class to get fit. I know how to throw a punch. Well... I thought I did. So I was punching my little heart out at the end where you get to punch yourself into a frenzy. Well I threw my right. Then I threw my left. Then SNAP! Uh Oh! Ouch, that's not good. So the left elbow snapped the bad shoulder slumped (old college injury that one) and as the days passed the pain increased. Apparently in watching the movie Ali with Will Smith I neglected to take note of the training involved in being able to punch for all you're worth. I also forgot what happened to Wylie Coyote everytime he tried to beat Bugs Bunny. Hence wii fit boxing 1, Heather 0.

Good news though the doctor says and I quote "I am NOT old, I am merely older than I was." I love that! It even made me forgive him for making me cry when he lifted my arm and I felt like it might be ripped off. So here I am in my sling, taking medication that apparently will have me pain free to start therapy in about 10 days. Good news is I did figure out I can type on the laptop with two hands as long as I have the heating pad on. So maybe I won't be a prize fighter anytime too soon. But I think I get an "A" for giving it an old college try (I probably should have remember what happened to the shoulder in college too). That's OK I'm sure I'll remember these things as soon as I remember to take the gynko.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Groundhog Day, What is this Miami Beach?

My husband and I LOVE the movie Groundhog day with Bill Murray. To the extent that if it is on television we watch it, especially if it IS Groundhog Day. What I love about this movie is the way it covers so many emotions, and what would you do if you had to live one day over and over again. For his (Bill Murray) character, Phil, gets stuck covering Groundhog Day as a weather man over and over again until he gets it right. Until the moment when he figures out that he needs to look outside of himself to those around him. He goes through every thought process, between what can he get away with and survive, to killing himself to make it end, to figuring out that maybe this life isn't just about him.

This makes me contemplate all the days of my life. With all the peaks and valleys, what one day would I want to relive over and over again. What one day would I rather not, and in that what would I do differently. The movie takes an interesting thought and twists it, turns it, makes you laugh and then makes you think. How would I handle that predicament?

In thinking about this, of course I think of the days that each of my children are born. Perhaps that first time around I wouldn't have waited till it was too late to say OK I've had enough I'll take that epidural now. I think about my wedding day and maybe I would have just acknowledged the fact that me and heels are not a good combination and just had the dress hemmed to fit with the Keds I ended up wearing down the isle in anyway, while I kicked the dress while walking to keep from tripping on it. I think about all the hurtfull things I've said to others and wish I could reel those back in. I think of the mistakes I've made, the challenges I've walked away from instead of walking forward full throttle.

I think of every mistake, every wrong word, every wrong turn and then I stop. What good does it do to look back? What good does it do to think of the things that I should have done differently that can never be changed? I think the moral of the story here is not how we could change the mistakes we've made but how we can look at those mistakes and keep from making them again. How by looking forward and not looking back we can improve and become better people. I can no sooner go back and change the mistakes of my past than I can change the order to the stars in the sky. I have asked for forgiveness. My heavenly father has forgiven me and for that matter knew I'd make them anyway and was willing to send His Only Son to die on the cross for me anyway. What good does it do to think and dwell on things that God has already forgotten? I can only learn and move forward. Praying all the way that as long as I stay on the straight and narrow path I can keep from ever straying from the path He has set for me again.

So again this year I will watch Groundhog Day. I will laugh and I will think. But not about what day I would live over and over again. But of the days I will hopefully be given to do the best I can with. I do love how he is awakened every morning. DJ#1 "OK campers rise and shine, and don't forget your booties cause it's cooold out there today." DJ#2 "It's cold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?" After all isn't that why we look forward to Groundhog Day? New beginnings? The end of winter the beginning of spring? It can be cold out there, how will you warm it up?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Pioneer I Am Not

I may be a lot of things but a pioneer I am not. We are under a winter storm warning until 7 p.m. Wednesday. OK so I knew it was going to snow. What I didn't know until too late was the magnitude of said snow and ice. I don't watch the news and spend most of my time reading books. I wasn't too concerned with the prospect of snow as we have plenty of food to get us through and I have nowhere that I need to be until it has all passed and gone. Then I get all these reports that we need to be prepared for power outages. Really?

So I spent my evening looking for the minescule amount of candles that I own in the house. I only own them for decorating purposes and if the lights go out. I can't smell them and the potential fire hazzard they hold has always held little appeal for me. So I found the candles and the matches and lined them all up on the kitchen counter ready to go. Then it occurrs to me that if we have no power, we also have no heat. That will be OK my husband says as we can layer our clothes and we have plenty of blankets. To which my reply of course was "Seriously? You would have us all get naked in the bed huddled under twenty seven blankets using body heat to keep warm?" To which his reply is (after he finishes laughing at me)"Why on earth would we need to be naked?" To which I replied with "Uh hello? Survival 101 you get naked and use your body heat to survive. If we have no heat in the house it's no better than being stranded in the car, we are sitting ducks here kid. Our innate desire to survive will eventually take over. You do know what the temperatures are out there right?" This is usually about the point where he just walks me off. As the middle-aged drama queen has taken over and all reason has left the building.

He spent the evening at work. I spent the evening looking for him to come through the door to save us from our impending doom. In between text messages from me asking if we should consider buying firewood for the fireplace that we only used once ten years ago and don't know how to use, he was saving the town from their impending doom of going without their medication in the storm. When he came through the door, I was snug in my chair with a blanket, with a space heater running in the room, watching a movie. I figured I should be as warm and comfortable in my habitat before my habitat became cold and uncomfortable with a potential power outage. But I did get up and throw myself into his arms and thank the Lord for an answered prayer.

I also explained to him that if we had gotten some firewood and we used our fireplace, we could cook our food over the open fire. Just like the pioneers did. To which he looked at me with doubt in his eyes and said "you are going to light a fire over which to cook food?" Honestly I said, I was hoping he would light the actual fire and then I would become all pioneer woman like and cook these wonderful meals with biscuits and such and we would eat out of tin cups and plates. In this fantasy I am also somehow wearing a dress with an apron over it and my hair has miraculously grown and is up in a bun.

If you don't know I'm currently learning to cook more than the five staples we usually eat. Also I rarely bake and if I do it's pre-formed cookies. The last time I made pre-formed cookies I burned them. Apparently there is a rather large difference between 375 and 325. My mind said 375, the instructions however said 325. Hence, only one tray of warm moist cookies and several of the crunchy variety. The idea of me cooking over an open fire is ridiculous to say the least. We will have to survive if and when the power goes out on cereal and chips and diet Pepsi. Because I may be a lot of things, a middle-aged drama queen maybe, but a pioneer I am not.