Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fashion Diva or Fashion Faux Pas

Oh how I love fashion. I love fashion so much that I am addicted to Project Runway and What Not To Wear. I love it so much that I changed clothes 3 times before leaving for work this morning. I work with children it shouldn't be that complicated. Yet every morning no matter what the day or where I am going I hear these voices in my head asking me what would Clinton and Stacy think? Of course my shoes are always wrong therefore, I must have at least 60 pairs of shoes to choose from right? Does it count if I get them from payless on bogo? I cannot afford to dress the way I think I should according to Stacy and Clinton I have thought about going to rummage sales and filling my closet with the ugliest clothes I can find so I can be nominated for the show and get the $5000 shopping spree in New York. Can I just tell you that I don't care how childish I sound that would be a dream come true for me. To get to go to New York and spend that much money would be so cool. All those name brands that I only go to EBay and drool over cause I can't buy them there either.
Project Runway I discovered when my cousin was visiting me from another state and now record so as not to miss an episode. I wanted to become a fashion designer or buyer when I was growing up. I design jewelry in my house and sell it to people I already know. Does that count? I doubt it. I think perhaps it makes me a "wannabe". I believe that's what the kids would call it these days. I am of course entirely too old to be this in to fashion. I am a complete embarrassment to my children. And I cringe if someone in my family doesn't match. I have made people in my family change their clothes before we go out.
Oh stop it I hear you. I am not likely to change I refrain myself quite a bit. (sigh) If only there were more hours in the day so I could transform myself into the fashion diva I long to be. Nothing brings me more joy than my children and nothing brings me more entertainment than a good Nicholas Sparks book but nothing and I mean NOTHING delights me more when shopping than finding a good clearance sale. Oh how I love a bargain....

Friday, September 5, 2008

How To Turn A Crap Job Into a Job You Love!

How do you turn a crap job into a job you love you ask? Well here I would like to explain exactly what a crap job to me is. I work two days a week at a crap job so I have some experience. What makes this a crap job is purely and utterly There I said it. I know it I am the only one making myself miserable in this crap job. Or am I? I work ten hours a week in a dead end job where I work with teenagers half my age. You would think I could bring something to the table give them quips and words of wisdom from all my vast experiences. You would think they would take one look at the old lady working beside them and want to do a good job at work. You would think that since I have actually played cards with the boss that they would say to themselves "gee I probably shouldn't be on my facebook page while Im at work with the old lady she may tell the boss man." But NO and do you know why? Because that generation has no respect for their elders (of which I am one of) and no respect for a job well done and apparently we are raising an entire generation that has no idea how to clean anything. I mean come on I expect it from my kids and my husband even. Trash left on the counter, things left on the floor at home. But at work? You best be steppin baby cause the old lady is about to blow her stack.
You are at work you should work. There is plenty to be done and if you cannot find something to do go to the restroom and clean that cause it is lookin mighty rank. Oh and in case you missed the memo on your pay check wear your hat or a hair net. I don't want your hair in my food and neither does anyone else. I let it go the first time the next time I will ask you to put one or the other on your head or I will come back there and make my food myself and show my kids how a person is supposed to take pride in their work.

Ok enough ranting. That my friends is the description of a crap job as described by me. Now how to make your crap job less crappy.
1. Quit (if that is not an option as it isn't one for me either move to number 2)
2. Complain until you either get to quit or get fired. (that one isn't working for me either move to number 3)
3. Plan your take over. I work 2 days a week and have worked for 3 or 4 or 100 weeks now. It doesn't really matter. I have decided the only way to make it through this tragedy is to plan my slow but steady take over. By the time I have finished not only will they respect me and do what I tell them but they will fear me like they should. That place will run like a well oiled machine and I will have the satisfaction of knowing that even though I get paid in pennies I have made it a better place to work for all.
4. You don't want to take over you say? You don't long for hostile takeovers and have a need to reign terror over others? Hmm......Gosh....I guess you need to see number 1.