Tuesday, November 26, 2013


One word for you...Perimenopause.  I didn't know that was a thing.  That's a thing?!?  I learned of this at church on Sunday.  I was talking to a friend and she told me about perimenopause.  The prequel of the actual event if you will.  It's like I've been waiting for The Lord of the Rings but really should be waiting for The Hobbit instead.  I've never watched The Lord of the Rings but I did see The Hobbit.  I had no clue what was going on. 

Apparently I really don't know what is going on.  Perimenopause is a thing and I could be in it and not even realize it.  No hot flashes yet.  Is there such a thing as cold flashes?  Winter is approaching and I am getting colder and colder.  I have to keep a sweater the weight of a Sherpa blanket at work so I don't freeze to death.  I told the teacher I work with currently that if the blood freezes in my veins I will not be able to get my work done.   I need to work.  I have a kid going to college next year.  Needless to say the heat got turned up.

I am pretty sure that having a kid going to college might be enough to throw you into perimenopause if you aren't already there.  I also have a feeling that I am going to be needing to make more frequent trips to the store for hair color although that wasn't one of the symptoms when I looked it up.  Actually when I looked it up, the symptoms sounded very similar to regular menopause.  Leading me to the conclusion that menopause be it peri or other lasts forever, call it different names if you want.  I feel just like my oldest daughter did when she started her period and asked me how long she was going to have to deal with that.  A bit like I'm being punked actually.

Seriously?  It isn't enough that we have PMS and spend days hemorrhaging every month for decades now this?  Men have it so easy and I think we should investigate this further because I think the serpent that convinced Eve to eat that apple was a male.  Adam ate the apple and men still get to stand up to pee.  Which granted as a busy mother I kind of like that I have an opportunity to sit down a few times a day but still...  PMS, Menstruation, Perimenopause, AND Menopause?  Enough is enough.

According to the symptoms I'm going to get hot, have sore breasts, have irregular periods, need Poise pads and I'm going to get cranky.  That sounds like fun, huh?  

As I sit here and contemplate my "impending doom" it occurs to me how my girls must have felt.  I am also reminded of what I told them, "Even though you can't control what is happening to your body, you can control your reaction to it."  I can choose how I react.  Just as I choose how to spend my day every day, I can choose my mood.  It doesn't matter what is happening or not happening I get to choose.  I can choose to be happy in spite of myself.  Something else I have said to my girls, "How about you try to have a good day in spite of yourself.  You might find you like having them and stick to it."

I'm a react first and think about it early person.  I have questions that I don't have clear-cut answers for but that is ok because I'm also reminded that I don't have to go through this alone.  Just as I haven't gone through anything else in life alone.  God was, is, and always will be there and so I guess bring it on perimenopause.  We've got this covered too.  All I need is a big dose of God and some fans, pads, Ibuprofen, and....