Saturday, December 12, 2009

If I Lived At Walmart

As I look around at my messy house, I often think that it would be easier to just move and start over. That is not an option as I cannot convince my family that moving to a more tropical climate would be in all of our best interests. A friend said that she thought it would be good to live at Walmart because they have anything you could want or need. That gave me a good idea. If I lived at Walmart I would have a team of people to help me find what I need. If the kids couldn't find their things I wouldn't be the only one responsible for helping them find their things. If I lived at Walmart I would have all the food I would need at me disposal at all times and sometimes even have people who have prepared food for sampling so we could have appetizers. If I lived at Walmart I would have a team of people to help me clean. If I lived at Walmart all the toys any of the kids would want would be readily available. If I lived at Walmart I wouldn't have to leave my residence to shop, get my hair done, go to the bank, get pictures taken, and in some Walmarts get an oil change. If I lived at Walmart I would always have someone to talk to as I would always have company. If I lived at Walmart we would have all the latest in technology at our disposal to test out. If I lived at walmart none of our socks would ever have holes in them and we would always have clean underwear. If I lived at Walmart all of my flowers would look great all the time as there would always be someone to water them. If I lived at Walmart we would have several toilets to use with the likelihood of waiting for one very slim and someone else would be in charge of cleaning them. If I lived at Walmart I'd have access to all the newest releases in movies, books and entertainment at all times.

So as you can see there would be a lot of perks to living at the Walmart. However, I did think of a few downfalls of living at the Walmart. If I lived at Walmart I wouldn't be able to shower or bathe I would have to wash in a sink in the bathroom. If I lived at Walmart we would never have privacy because we'd be open 24/7. If I lived in Walmart I'd never get any sleep because the lights never go out. If I lived at Walmart the parking would be terrible and I'd have to worry about carts and other cars at all times hurting my car. If I lived at Walmart all my pretty flowers would get sold and I wouldn't be able to enjoy them very long. If I lived at Walmart I'd have to sleep in a sleeping bag as they have no beds. If I lived at Walmart I'd have to have sex with my husband in a dressing room with a guard standing outside. If I lived at Walmart we'd all be obese from eating all the baked goods that are so readily available.

I'm sure there are many other ways living at Walmart would either be a good thing or a bad thing. But you get the idea.