I really love the song Call Me Maybe. I feel better about that fact now that I know
that I am not actually old enough to be the artist’s mother. (Thanks to Wikipedia) The song’s lyrics don’t really apply to me,
so I thought it would be fun to try a rewrite of the catchy hit. This way it applies to my life and makes a
little bit more sense for me to sing it. I also added a few notes and rewrites of my
rewrites for your amusement.
Mow the Yard, Maybe
I threw a ball and it fell (Of course it
fell, have you seen me throw a ball?)
Where it landed I can’t tell (Tall grass? Nearsightedness? Combination?)
I looked to my kid as it fell (He should have been
watching)
And now it’s in my way (Kind of like
the swings on the swing set)
I
might find it in a ditch (Which
wouldn’t be so bad because I’m scared to mow the ditch.)
With small toys and trash scattered
amiss (What?)
I didn’t want to look for this (You got that right!)
But now it’s in my way
The ball’s bounce wasn’t holdin (Hello, I’m Heather and I’m
not sporty.)
The tall grass is all that’s showin (Good news! No dandelions!)
Hot day wind was blowin (It was dusty)
Where do you think it went don’t be lazy (Get over here and help me!)
Hey it rained this morning and this is
crazy (Is it? Is it really?)
But I’ll get my mower and mow already (You are welcome neighborhood watch
dogs.)
It’s hard to look right at my yard I’ve
been lazy (Nearsighted, remember?)
But I’ll get my mower and mow it maybe (I wonder if we have gas?)
Hey it rained this morning and this is
crazy
But here’s my mower, so mow the yard
maybe (You volunteered right?)
And all the other neighbors mowed
already (Of course they
did. Overachievers!)
So I’ll get my mower and mow maybe (I’ll do it myself.)
You took your time helping to find the
ball (Slow poke)
It took no time to mow at all (I was singing and
dancing so it was fun.)
You gave me no help at all (Was it my singing or the
dancing that deterred you?)
So still it’s in my way (I’ll just
mow around it.)
My skin got sun burned and pealed (Aloe please?)
In the sun and the pain is real (Ouch!)
I didn’t know I would feel it (I’m quick)
But now the pain is in my way (Again aloe?)
The ball’s bounce wasn’t holdin (yeah yeah)
The tall grass is all that’s showin
Hot day wind was blowin
Where do you think it went I’ve been so lazy?
Hey it rained this morning and this is
crazy
But I’ll get my mower and mow already
It’s hard to look right at my yard I’ve
been so lazy
But I’ll get my mower and mow it maybe
Hey it rained this morning and this is
crazy
But here’s my mower, so mow the yard
maybe
And all the other neighbors mowed
already
So I’ll get my mower and mow maybe
Before I mowed my yard Before I mowed my yard
The grass was so tall It looked
so bad
The grass was so tall It looked
so bad
The grass was so so tall It looked so
so bad
Before I mowed my yard Before I mowed my
yard
The grass was so tall It looked
so bad
And you should know that And you should know
that
It was so so tall It looked so so bad
Tall tall tall Bad, bad, bad
It’s hard to look right at my yard I’ve
been so lazy
But here’s my mower, so mow the yard
maybe
Hey it rained this morning and this is
crazy
But I’ll get my mower and mow already
And all the other neighbors mowed
already
So I’ll get my mower and mow maybe
Before I mowed my yard
The grass was so tall
The grass was so tall
The grass was so so tall
Before I mowed my yard
The grass was so tall
And you should know that
So mow my yard, maybe
So much fun to write, I would like to
insert that this week we mowed first. We
felt like rock stars for an entire four hours.
Then the neighbors came home and went to work on their yards. Those four hours were AWESOME! We celebrated our small victory with ice
cream.