Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hello Starbucks! Have We Met?

How you should probably order at Starbucks: I would like a tall, nonfat, sugar free, cinnamon dolce cappuccino, no whip, extra cinnamon. How I order at Starbucks: Yes give me something not too fattening that is warm and taste good please. Worker: OK so you want a skinny? Me: Yes I want to be skinny! Worker: What size? Me: Oh give me a medium I guess (holds hands up to show size I want) Worker: roles eyes and says: What flavor? We have skinny capaccinos in Mocha, Carmel, Dolce, and Hazelnut. Me: hm mm they all sound so good. What do you recommend? Worker: (while rolling eyes and thinking that I should have gone to McDonald's where I can get coffee without all the choices) Well ma'am the dolce is cinnamon and is very good if you like that or you could go with, mocha if you like chocolate that is always a safe bet. Me: hmm they all sound good, can you mix them? Worker (with red face and ready to quit and get a job at McDonald's where life is easier) Sure ma'am what would you like to mix? Me: hm...I don't know what do you recommend? (worker starts shooting steam out of ears and I get frightened) Me: OK OK I know give me a mocha and Carmel mix. Worker: ok that s a"grande skinny mocha Carmel cappuccino" Me: wow it sounds so fancy when you say it like that! Thanks!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Is there ANYTHING that New Shoes or Chocolate can't Cure?

When I was growing up I knew two things for certain about my mother, she was a shopaholic (wonder where I get it from?) and she was the ultimate junk food junky (which is unfair because she was always never any bigger than a size 6, EVER yet she was always dieting). The woman had a secret stash of chocolate that she would break out when getting caught up on her recordings of Days of Our Lives. Seriously? When watching the turmoil that IS Bo and Hope's relationship who wouldn't need chocolate just to get through the hour?

My mother shopped for clothes, shoes, jewelry (black hills gold anyone?), and decor for the house. Never blinking once at the price because usually it all came from the Home Shopping Network or QVC. So of course it was a bargain. Food on the other hand was a completely different story. Whenever we went grocery shopping we had to have our coupons. If it wasn't on sale or she didn't have a coupon it wasn't coming home. Oh you want Coco Crispies? Sorry it's Life or nothing kid pick which flavor, besides we have sugar at home why pay extra for all those sugary cereals? However, she was very sneaky when she purchased other things for herself. She would by something and hide it in the back of the closet for months. So she could legitimately say it wasn't knew when she broke it out to wear. She was right she had had it for quite some time.

In our house there was always a fight. Of course I was always correct and everyone else was always wrong, wrong, and wrong! This still holds true today. Just ask me! Someone would fight, mom would either buy something new or eat some chocolate. I learned early that no matter the situation shopping and chocolate were the cure alls for whatever ails you.

Today I LOVE to shop, and I always forget my coupons at home when I go to the grocery. I'm pretty sure that ice cream is the cure for a bad day and if there is chocolate on the ice cream all the better! I am mortally offended if they forget the cherry on my sundae and I tell my children that money doesn't grow on trees and if they want to wear the "cool clothes" we will be buying them when they go on sale. So, I guess in some ways I did grow up to be like my mother. I used to go and buy something for myself and hide it in my closet because I thought that was just how it was done. I used to eat chocolate every time I was sad or mad until I got so fat I couldn't make it up the stairs without getting short of breath. But unlike my mother I married a man who says "so you bought a shirt? who cares but it on and wear it!" and I cannot eat junk food daily and maintain a size four unless I want to add a one in front of the four. On occasion though a nice pair of shoes or a take1 bar can turn a day right around!