Tuesday, September 27, 2011

How Do You See Me?

I wonder what you see when you see me. One Sunday in Sunday school we were discussing people's perceptions of us. I have often wondered what people see when they see me. Do they see what I see? Do they see what God sees? Do they see something completely different? I wonder if they see the truth or what they want to see.

Every morning I look in the mirror as most of us often do. I see aging. I see my mother if truth be told. Often I look in the mirror and say “hi mom.” It's funny isn't it? The passage of time. It slips away in this busy hustle and bustle of daily life without us hardly noticing. Until one day we look in the mirror and see our mothers or our fathers as the case may be.

When I look I see someone who really just doesn't have it all together. I wait too long to color my hair. I fall off the wagon every time when it comes to diets or “life style changes.” Again I see a scared little girl who wants to stand out just enough for people to be her friend but not so much to draw too much attention. I see a mother who would do anything at all for her kids and struggles with letting go. I see someone who starts things that rarely get finished.

But in light of all of that I wonder what would happen, how different my life would be if when I looked in the mirror I saw what God sees. And taking it further what if the people around me could do the same. What if when we all looked at each other we saw each other as God sees each and every one of us? As beautiful. As wonderful, unique creations designed by God. As someone worth dying for.

Did you know? Did you know that you are loved so much that you are worth dying for? I listen to KLOVE ALL the time. There is a song they have been playing lately called Someone worth Dying for by Mikeschair. I wonder if you have ever thought of yourself that way. I have to say for myself that would be a no. I tend to think of myself as so unworthy that it escapes me how God could still love me. But I am human and I don't think like God. Which is a relief I can assure you. Because I would have done away with me a long time ago. I wonder if perhaps we could all look at ourselves and those around us, not as our human eyes see the outward appearance, but maybe what we have the potential of being. How God sees us. As His beautiful creation, someone worth dying for, someone with potential to fulfill His will for our lives.

How amazing could our attitudes be towards others as well as ourselves? Could we all see each other as works in progress. As people worth getting to know and love, regardless of social status. Whether you are the prom queen, the nerd, the CEO, or the maid. What if... we were just loved creations of God. What if....

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Play Time or Hey I Got A JOB

On a summer day in early August I received a request from a friend and neighbor of mine. She had gotten a job as a preschool teacher and was in need of an assistant in her classroom. I won't lie and tell you that I jumped at the chance to help a friend in need. In all actuality my first response to her was similar to “Oh? I'm so sorry for you. I'm sure they will find someone to work with you.”

Was I already working somewhere? No. In fact I had been home for two or three years after having worked in a preschool previously. Plus I was kind of really enjoying my life at home. I had a pretty stressful schedule going on. For example when the kids were in school after they got on the bus I would sit in my chair and watch Boy Meets World and What I Like About You on ABC Family. When they were over I would get up and start my day. I had lunch dates with friends. I cleaned my house and I ran my kids around. Also I had a pretty good feeling that this year would be the year that I would finally master the churn the butter dance I do while cleaning and I was going to find the perfect hair brush for singing into. So as you can see I had a lot going on.

On top of that my year at the previous preschool was the single most stressful experience of my life. Becoming a mother for the first time was less stressful. My twenty four hours of labor was less stressful. I was there during a time of transition, a time when you do not want to be stuck in the middle. A time when you do not want to be going back into the workforce and this be your first experience back.

That job caused me physical pain from the stress. I would wake up and not be able to move my neck to either side because of the stress. I was determined to finish the year. I did, but I had no desire to go back. I went back home and stayed where I was happy and content. It was great. I liked it a lot. I was able to go on day time dates with my husband. I was able to have quality time at home, redecorating and making it a place I could spend my time and not want to leave. And I didn't leave unless I had to.

It's funny to me how one minute you can think everything is just as you want it. Then God has another plan. I really like His plans. While having my conversation with my friend I told her that I really couldn't do it because I had already committed to helping with MOPS. So they would have to be willing to work around that. She said let me make a call and ask. Well she made her call and I was told I had to call this new director and talk to her. Let me just say this was a new director that happens to have the same first name as the director that we had had previously. So of course I had questions about this woman I was to call.

I couldn't have been more leery to call this woman. I made the call. What I first thought was that she sounded excited. This was new. As we talked I started feeling more at ease. So when she asked if I could come in to speak to her I said sure. I was there thirty five minutes later. We sat down and chatted like old friends and thirty minutes later I had the job. Every single excuse I could come up with to Not take the job, she responded with reasons why I should.

So far this experience has been what I had hoped my previous experience would have been. I love it. I look forward to it. As I sit here writing this I'm wondering what art project we are going to get to do tomorrow. Also I'm kind of liking having a reason to get dressed up again. I did spend some time living in sweats and while they are comfortable, they were getting old. I think it's going to be a good year. A relaxing, let's go play in the paint, go on a bear hunt, have a snack, and read some stories kind of year. I wonder if maybe this is what was missing from my good time I was having before. The opportunity to go and have a good time with others. God knew just what was missing. I'm so glad He knew the right time and right place to fill me back up.