Thursday, February 2, 2012


I am lacking focus. I might have ADD. I might be lazy. I might just be out of it. I'm not sure what the trouble is. Maybe I need new glasses. Maybe I need to stay off of Facebook and Pinterest. OK, I really need to stay off of those things. They are a colossal waste of time. Maybe I should exercise. That could help with my focus.

The other day I was watching an Ellen stand up where she says she thinks she has ADD. She is assured of this because she doesn't even have the patience to take a test to see if she has ADD. So much of what she talks about is like she is inside my head. I once told my grandmother that I was having trouble with forgetting things and that I could use some ginkgo. She ordered me some and sent it home. The problem is that I needed something or someone to remind me to take the ginkgo so I could remember all the other stuff I was forgetting. I eventually took them all. I think there was a 30 day supply, it may have taken me 6 months or 60 days. Who remembers? Then, I was watching Ellen and she talked about ginkgo too, so I felt happy because it's not just me. She said if you can remember the ginkgo you probably don't need the ginkgo. Which, duh?

I enjoy watching Ellen's stand up comedy because she talks about so much that I wonder about myself. Why do they package batteries like they do and only put light bulbs in the flimsy cardboard? I have asked myself the same thing.

I wonder about other things too. Why do people complain when we have 60 degree weather in January? Isn't that the most fantastic thing ever? Does pork ever think that chicken is the other white meat? If brussel sprouts were so good for you, wouldn't they taste like chocolate or at least like carrots? Why isn't a Reese Cup a health food if chocolate has milk which does the body good and peanut butter has protein? Does Lady Gaga scare everyone or is it just me? How do cows stay warm in the winter? I had a leather coat once and it was not warm. How do the people from find you and why don't they get if you wanted to keep in touch you would have? How do people get to that place as an adult where running is fun? Would my mother have kept drinking her coffee black if she knew about chocolate creamer? She was the ultimate junk food junky. I can see that taking her love of coffee and chocolate to a whole new level. Do other people have to go into the garage, sit in their car, plug into the iPod and sing at the top of their lungs, to feel like a rock star?

If I had been a dog I would have been Doug from the movie UP. Squirrel! If I had been able to learn everything to the tune of a song I might have been a rocket scientist... OK that's not true. I never wanted to be a rocket scientist. In fact I have never known or known anyone who aspired to be a rocket scientist. I might have become a doctor or nurse. Actually probably not because I don't do well with vomit or anything that involves a great deal of blood. I actually don't know what I would have been. I cannot think of a single thing that seems so interesting that I wouldn't get distracted at some point. My best friend knew at age seven she would become a teacher. When I was six I wanted to be a teacher by the time I was eight I wanted to be a hair dresser. When I was ten I wanted to be a ballerina, by the time I was seventeen I wanted to be a fashion designer. This may be why I love reading so much. I can be anything in a book. Then pick up a different book and be something else.

So back to the focus issue. The only time I don't lose focus is when it's 10:30 at night and my husband is flipping through the channels and he finds a movie and starts watching it. At 11:00 he will go to bed. If the movie is over I will too, if not I cannot go to bed until it is over. I can't seem to walk away. I am not even sure that is true focus because truly my focus should be on going to bed and not on a movie I've already seen an may even own. Give me a television show and I can usually walk away. I have laundry to do. I need to go get a mocha because I haven't hit my quota for one day. I need to walk aimlessly through the house so I can say I exercised today. I need to use the restroom.............................................................................................. OK I'm back. What was I saying? Oh yes focus. Don't ask me to read all the instructions to cook dinner because that won't happen. I won't cover the dish when I'm supposed to and I will cover it when I am not supposed to. I will leave something out. Don't ask me to drive you anywhere that takes longer to get to than 20 minutes because I will get bored and either start singing or ask you to drive so I can read.

Oh and currently it has taken me three days to get this post finished so any deadline you may have for me better be a ruse. It might be best to tell me one day hoping that I get it to you three days later. Because focus seems to be an issue for me currently.