Monday, January 5, 2009

I Believe I Can Fly...Maybe...

Wouldn't it be cool to be able to fly? Oh and wouldn't it be cool to be able to be able to work without ever leaving your house and get paid enough to never have to worry about money. Oh the dreams we have. When I was a young girl I had a dream that I could fly. I could just lift off the ground and sort of float through the air. I have no idea what that means but I always loved that dream. I would float through the mall. I would float where ever whenever. I never felt so free and alive. This is fascinating to others and to me because I am and have always been afraid of heights. I'm nervous on ladders. I have a very nervous fly erI hold on for dear life during take off and landing. Oh to have the courage to ride the Danny Phantom ride at Kings Island which looks like the closest thing to flying I could ever get. This may seem random, however I read one of my daughters books over break called "Growing Wings." It's a coming of age book about a young girl who is growing wings on her book. I feel as though I am still growing my wings some days. Metaphorically of course. I don't actually have wings, although wouldn't that be cool? I would definitely have to get over my fear of heights. In reading this book and thinking of my favorite dreams I can't help but think how much of growing up is like growing wings.

Changes happen and new things and people come and go. It can be scary and exciting a bit like growing wings. I still get nervous and scared about new and different things. My job has changed now three times each time bringing new changes and challenges. I really wish my wings were fully formed. In the book the girls back itched and ached with the growing of her wings. In new jobs or other situations it can feel uncomfortable. You can almost ache in anticipation and itch to get out of it. I have felt that way more than once. I would like to have a job where I wouldn't have to leave the house. I'm a sissy driver and I don't like to leave the house when it's bad outside. I define bad as anything that is not sunny.

As I have said I have had dreams of flying and I have a fear of heights. I have also said I'm not a dream translator. I have a theory though. I believe that the dreams of flying are like message of not being afraid. Of what life could be like if you weren't afraid of failing or falling. Growing is hard and sometimes it hurts and is uncomfortable. But, if you believe you can fly ... imagine what you could accomplish...what you could achieve...what you could aspire to be. In my experience we as humans put the more limitations on ourselves with fear than anyone else could ever place on us. So believe you can fly just like the song says. I've heard that if you can dream it you can achieve it. I have never believed I could achieve anything. Perhaps that's what the dream is about. I'm not sure but I hope to have that dream again soon. But, just in case if you find a job that doesn't require me to leave the house let me know.