Wednesday, September 22, 2010

To Be A Tree or To Be Me

I think if I could be anything I would be a tree. Always reaching for the sky, looking towards heaven all day, swaying in the breeze. A tree doesn't mind the weather, doesn't mind if you climb to make your way to the top. A tree provides shade from from the sun and a home for those who need it. Yes, I think being a tree would be nice for even when cut down it knows it will still served a purpose.

As I look out my window today, the trees still have a good supply of green leaves. When walking along the walkway I notice more and more leaves falling from their branches and turning brown and crunchy under my feet. Fall isn't far and soon all the leaves will be red, yellow, orange, and brown. I like fall. In some ways it's a shedding of old skin. Spring is rebirth, summer a time to flourish, but as I think about the impending winter I never look too forward to it. Trees however like people go through changes. Some of them may not be to our liking but necessary nonetheless.

Seasons change, people change, moods change. I once heard someone say that "she changes moods faster than she can change her underwear." Now I'm not sure who they were talking about but I believe it must have been a teenage girl. Or perhaps they were talking about women in general. I know my own moods can change with the weather. When it's sunny, I'm happy. When it rains, I feel down. When it snows, I feel confined. And so it goes every season. The trees lose their leaves, and I think how sad I am about it and how I wish it were spring. With the rebirth I know will come.

I will have to admit I tend to do better when I have a bible study to go to. I love it when I can do that. I do better when I'm told what to do and if i have others to hold me accountable. I'm the kind of person who will do what you ask but I need direction. While I tend to talk to God during the day I spend little time in the word unless I have direction to know what to read. And it helps to have a leader to explain and make sure I'm understanding what I've read. While I can read a book all day long and can retain the information. When reading the bible I have a hard time with the fact that God wants me. I can't imagine why. I've had the messy bits of life. And mostly because I don't believe I deserve it. I'm a sinner. I mess up all the time. But I know of rebirth. I know I've been washed clean.

Trees like people go through a sort of rebirth every year come spring. Now people don't necessarily get reborn every spring, but wouldn't it be nice if they did? In church we learn we are reborn through Christ Jesus our savior. We are saved and we are baptized and reborn through our faith in him. Every time I see someone get baptized I cry. To me it's like watching a birth, only you miss out on the messy part. But it's sometimes the messy parts that lead us to where we ultimately need to go. Life is messy, sometimes it takes a good cleansing to clean it all up.

I think we should reup. Like the trees in the spring. They get a rebirth every year. I think it could make an impact on our lives and on the lives of non believers as well. Everyone gathers together at the river, we fall to our knees and ask for forgiveness and then get baptized again. Get the rebirth once again. Sure you continue in your studies all year. Ask for forgiveness when you need it. Praise him all day every day but once a year come together as a group and reaffirm your commitment as a body of Christ.

Put that on the news. Show the leaders of the world that we as a body of Christ are coming together and this is One Nation Under God. The founding fathers of our country wanted religious freedom. We recieved it then we chucked it out the window by allowing the nonbelievers to say that they didn't want "In God We Trust" or any other religious statements in public areas like courthouses. Well too bad. I'm insulted by the nonbelievers thinking they can take my religious freedom to post it. Isn't that a bit like the pot calling the kettle black? This is where the renewal comes into play. A bit of standing firm. Someone saying no. They are bullies the way I see it. Bullies just need someone to stand up to them and tell them no.

I think as I look around sometimes there are so many who seem to have it all together. I am not one of those people. I have very little together. I also know that most of the time it's all an illusion. People tend to portray what they want you to see. Like the trees in the forest, sometimes you miss the fact that the base has rotted out because all you can see are the pretty green leaves. Such as there are no truly perfectly formed trees, finding truly perfect people is pretty futile. It doesn't exist. There has been and will ever only be ONE perfect person in all the earth and he died so that we can find our way to the father once again.

So why do we keep striving to conform and to be like those who seem to have it figured out? Why do we try to conform to what we aren't chosen to be. I suppose I could spend my whole life wondering what my purpose was. In "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" Eddie says he was just a maintenance man. He never went anywhere. He never did more with his life. He goes and meets five people and begins to understand about his life. My husband is just now reading the book. He was asking me who I thought I'd meet when I get to heaven. I'm not sure who I think would be waiting to enlighten me about everything I went through and what the lessons were. I know who I would like to see but mostly I think when I get to heaven, and I get to look into the face of God, it won't matter so much. I think that when I get to be with my Father, it will be like coming home. Perhaps longing to be like the trees who look towards heaven is what we should be doing instead of looking to see who's beside us while we are looking up. The way I figure it, God wants me to be happy. The people I love make me happy so there is no IF they will be with me again someday. Surely the God who can move mountains, turn water to wine, part the red sea, and bring my mother who never went to a church my entire childhood, can soften her heart and bring her home to be with him, the rest of my family should be a breeze. God places people in our lives for a reason. We are hear to learn. I guess what I've learned so far is to not question. I just believe that HE is the one in charge and I don't worry anymore.

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