Him: So how is the book coming along? Me: Well... Him: Have to got page one of the manuscript ready? Me: Well... Him: Have you even typed "page 1"? Me: No, but you see it's because I have no printer. I can not work under these conditions. I need my printer to function properly. I have to be able to print otherwise what is the point of typing it? Him: Really? That's what's holding you back? Me: Of course what are you insinuating? Him: Only that you go out for lunch so often that when we go out together to a restaurant it's like walking into Cheers. Everyone knows you. But of course that couldn't be the reason. Me: I need material. How am I supposed to get material if I don't ever leave the house?
This is how our conversations go. What this doesn't indicate is that when I get inspired to write one of three things usually happens. 1. He calls me to do something for him. 2. One of the kids calls me to do something for one of them. or 3. I run out of time as it's time to go to lunch of course. For example, just this week alone as Wednesday was his day off we spent the day running errands and having a nice lunch together. Then as we were home and we were waiting on the children to get home, I decide it's a good time to write. He thinks it's a good time to change the faucet in their bathroom. This is how that played out. I'm sitting at my desk typing away when... Him: Hey can you come here for a minute? Me: Sure, what do you need? Him: Do you have strongs? Me: Seriously? Him: Just come here. So I go upstairs and attempt to loosen the nuts holding the faucet intact. I being the weakling that I am can't budge them so I return to my desk. I sit down and start typing again when... Him: Hey come here and help me a minute. So I go up and help again and return to my desk to type when...Him: Hey I need your brains can you come here a minute. So I grumble up the stairs yet again. This goes on about two more times. So I ask you, when do I get to finish a thought? He wonders why I can't get an entire book together when it's next to impossible to finish a thought long enough to blog. Thus proving my point that I'm only charming and poignant in short spurts. I can't do the long haul because I don't have time to do the long haul.
If it's not the writing it's the scrap booking. Our oldest child is a freshman this year. She has yet to enter the 3rd grade in her scrapbook. This is a source of contention amongst us as it's my job to remedy this situation. This I must do in between the laundry and the cleaning and the running to soccer, and volleyball, and drama. What do I do with my time? What are you most likely to find me doing if I'm not doing any of the aforementioned above? Reading. Slipping into another realm where I have no dishes waiting to be done but a 17 year old girl is fighting for her life in a place called Panem. Or a place where vampires walk among us and account for the oddities in some people. Is this the best use of my time? I don't know. Is sitting in front of a television set with no use of any imagination at all a good use of time? I don't think so. I have always enjoyed television but I have to be doing something else at the same time. I can't just sit and stare. It's mind numbing. But to read is to be mesmerized by something bigger and better. The thoughts and descriptions the imagination can lead you to in a book is so much better. Plus although I do think life is funny. I'm not convinced mine is worth reading about.
I do not know any vampires nor do I know any werewolves. But I do know some great kids and one great man. My children are smart. Something they get from their father. He is quite brilliant really. This is good because I can only help them with their math homework till about the 4th grade. After that they enter what I like to call "that new math". Perhaps you've heard of it, it's what my mom used to tell me I was studying as a kid. Truly the only math I ever really needed to learn is what I like to call "shopping math". This is where I go and figure up the sale prices when I'm shopping to decide if it's a good buy or not. One thing I did learn from my mother is to never pay full price. I also learned that when you can't find a hammer to hang a picture, a meat cleaver works just as well. Tips and hints from mom. She was nothing if not resourceful. She once thought the best way to get me to eat spinach was to mix it with green beans. (Do not try this at home!!) Needless to say it didn't work and had she made me a spinach salad with strawberries and warm bacon dressing her problems would have been solved as my green leafy veggies would have been consumed.
My best friend however, is the backbone to this operation. She doesn't get near enough credit, not that she ever looks for any. She is the voice of reason, when reason jumps from a window. We have often called each other in times of crisis. But our best times are spent over a chocolate tall cake. It seems when all else fails and life is just too hard chocolate and conversation are the cure. She is very handy when it comes to "shopping math" and also as she was a math and an English teacher she is my editor. If I ever get her anything to edit. Which leads us back to where we started. Him: How's that manuscript coming? Me: Just as soon as the new printer shows up, I'll type "page 1".