It was a beautiful day this day twenty years ago. I had spent the night at my grandparents' house. I had so much to do to get ready and I was full of anticipation. I had to get my hair and my make up done. I had to get dressed and I had to be at the church before anyone else for pictures.
My dress was the dress of fairy tales. Cinderella herself would have been envious of this dress. Off the shoulders with long sleeves, cinched in waist and a full skirt, this dress was exquisite. It was the first one I tried on. I tried on others of course, but I had to have this one. It was perfection in satin and lace.
At the church I was closed up in a room for so long I thought I might wet myself. I had to go and I couldn't leave the room. Potty chairs are useful and when your mother in law is the one to help make that happen, you know you've picked the right family. My shoes were pinching my toes, I was getting overheated, and hungry and all I wanted to do was to see him, to find the one whose eyes could calm me.
I ended up wearing Keds down the aisle that day. The heels only made it for the pictures. When I saw him at the end of the aisle, I knew that nothing else mattered. As long as I didn't pass out from the heat in the most beautiful dress ever made, the adventure, the hills, the valleys, the mountains, and the pits, all of it would be OK. He was there. He wasn't late, He didn't call and cancel. he was like no other man in existence, in my world anyway. He was a shower upper...he still is. He shows up. He shows up for me, he shows up for our kids, he just shows up. I didn't grow up like that. I grew up with cancellations and excuses.
It's not always been perfect, because nothing ever is, but it has always been worth it. In good times and bad, sickness and health, losses too many to count, many bouts of depression, included the one no one thought I'd come back from. There is no one else I would want by my side. Twenty years of doing life with me cannot be easy. All I can say is that it sure hasn't been boring.
I love this man more than the sum of all the stars in the sky. He gave me a family when I wasn't even sure I wanted one. He showed me that sometimes people show up...sometimes whether you like it or not, whether you are worthy or not, whether you believe it or not, people will show up and love you.
Life is a roller coaster and I picked the best partner for the ride. I can't wait to see what the next twenty looks like.