Monday, July 22, 2013

I Want to Live on Vacation

My family and I just got back from a much anticipated vacation.  I am not going to lie here.  I love palm trees.  Palm trees are fantastic.  Sand is lovely, and I even like Mickey Mouse and all sorts of things at Universal.  I fantasize about selling everything we own and moving to Florida.  The idea of it both excites and terrifies me.  It is crazy to think of leaving everything we know and going somewhere else.  It is especially appealing to me when we come home from vacation.

When we go on vacation, which isn't every year I might add, we try to fit in as much as possible.  We have a great time and then we come home.  This is the thing with vacation and I think it is because they have experienced vacation.  I don't recall ever going on vacation as a child with my mother.  I have seen pictures of going to Florida when I was too young to remember.  When we take our children on vacation you can see the joy on their faces.  They love it.  They are so excited that they forget to argue... mostly.  Everyone gets along and my husband and I are rock stars.  We are fantastic because we have successfully entertained them and for that we are treated as the great parents we always wished we were.

We then come home and the mystery and illusion are gone.  I am not sure if the veil of illusion is on when we are on vacation or when we are off of vacation.  Either way, when we get home our rock star status is null and void.  Once again we are the enemy.  Maybe that is why I like palm trees so much.  Where the palm trees are lies my rock star status.  When we get home we become the Devo of their world and Whip It is getting old.  They want us to either come up with another hit or get going.  The only problem is that there aren't new hits coming.  We are one hit wonders at this time with no prospects of a hit for the foreseeable future.  We can't live on vacation.  None of the other vacations count as they are in the past and now that this one is over they no longer have one to look forward to.  They can't see six years into the future. 

I figured out today that I know what I want to be when I grow up.  I want to be on vacation.  I want to live on vacation.  Who doesn't?  We don't cook, someone comes and cleans our room, and there isn't an opportunity to get bored.  Vacation doesn't require make-up on and hair done.  You don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself because you don't know anyone there.  Who cares if you sing along to the music?  I'll tell you who.  Not me!  When we go on vacation I live in baseball hats.  If I put make-up on it is to protect my skin from the sun.  (Speaking of the sun, I always fail at the reapply.  We get the sunscreen on one time, never reapply, and I get fried.)  Vacation is where it is at.  That's where I want to live.  People like me there.  My family thinks I'm great.  My new friends Mickey Mouse and Harry Potter think I'm fantastic.  We have harmony on vacation.

Alas we cannot live on vacation forever.  As glorious as it sounds apparently responsibility forbids it.  Of the people in this house, as cranky as the girls are when they get home, I hate it even more.  I have the hardest time coming home and having to be who I am.  On vacation I was fearless.  I rode rides this year I had always been too scared to ride and was giddy when I got off of them.  I tried new things and it was fantastic.  I get home and I dream of going back.  I come home and I hate who I have to become.  I become the "do something that doesn't require a screen" mom, the "ugh I have to cook again" mom, the "I can't do that I'm the mom, I have responsibilities" mom, the "clean your room, I'm not the maid, don't talk like that, don't roll your eyes at me, I saw that, I heard that, what is wrong with you?" mom.  Vacation rocks!  If only...

I'm not sure if we actually moved to paradise if I would still have rock star status.  It is entirely possible that the magic of the palm trees and Mickey Mouse would wear off and I would become the fearful yet responsible boring mother I am when I am here.  That may be what makes it so magical, it only lasts a short time then it is gone.

Until our next adventure...this is the Devo of the house....signing out.

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