Thursday, January 5, 2012

Excuses Excuses

Today I have a few minutes to kill before I start my running. OK I am not really going to be running, I don't have the proper shoes on my feet for running. What I mean to say is before I get in my car and drive around to all the places I need to go before I come home prepare dinner, come up with 5 excuses why I can't get on the treadmill and inadvertently waste the rest of my evening.

I thought I would share something about myself. In the middle of the night I go walking in my sleep, through the valley of fields, through the river softly. I'm always looking for something. OK that's a Billy Joel song that popped in my head for some unknown reason. I don't really walk in my sleep. I have woken myself up with a snort before. But I don't think I snore. Also I don't dream. At least not that I remember. Unless you count the dream I had after Michael Jackson died and my children decided he was cool. I had a dream we were pals and he came over to visit and brought me his entire collection to give to my daughter as a gift. He may have moon walked while he was here too. Probably not because I just thought of that and it would have made the dream much more satisfying. Also I do have fields around my house but I don't have a river. There is a creek not far but I'm too scared to go down there. There could be a wildebeest or snake down there.

So I thought I would share with you the top 12 reasons why I won't Zumba with the rest of them. As I have stated before I am excellent at coming up with excuses. David Letterman does a top 10 list, I do a top 12. Maybe I'm more full of it than he is?

  1. This is a true statement: I am on the Dave Ramsey plan and I don't have an envelope for that. I do have a “blow” envelope but I like to use my “blow” envelope for very important things like lunch money if I run through my “food” envelope too quickly or for things like tissues and sales on shoes.
  2. I lost all my “moves” in the postnatal drip and am now prohibited by NASA to attempt to dance in public.
  3. I am a klutz and am quite afraid of turning the wrong way and causing a chain reaction of falling women.
  4. I like to sing when a song comes on that I like and if I'm moving and singing at the same time I could pass out from the exertion and I cannot afford the medical bills that could create. (Concussions can be costly and painful)
  5. When I sing in the privacy of my house, the cats either hide or beg to be let out of the house. My singing could cause others to have problems with their ears. I cannot afford your medical bills either.
  6. I now know three people who teach Zumba. How do you choose without hurting someone's feelings?
  7. I don't really like going with the crowd unless it's chow time. I like to do my own thing. I'm a rebel like that.
  8. I don't have the proper attire.
  9. I tend to lose papers or forget them so a punch card would not stay in my possession long.
  10. I hate to drive especially at night, so forget about it.
  11. I don't know the appropriate amount of time between eating and exercising. Is it like swimming do you wait 30 minutes?
  12. I would.... I just don't want to. Mostly because everyone is doing it.
So you see? I have several outstanding excuses NOT to do Zumba. Also I think I may have had a dream once where I passed out attempting it and got trampled by a bunch of sweaty ladies. I can't be sure though I rarely remember my dreams.

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