And so it begins...

As I think about what I should write about today, my daughter comes in to talk. She was home from school the last two days ill. So as you can imagine she has much to make up in the homework department. I asked her what I should write about and she said, your experience with me the last couple days of course. Over the last couple days two of my children have had a stomach thing. A 24-48 hour bug I suppose that makes them toss their cookies till the cookie jar is dry if you catch my meaning. So my experience with them has been keeping them in bed. Bringing them Sprite and crackers. Then we moved on to toast.

Today you wouldn't know they had been sick. They were up and ready for school and on their way. I spent the day cleaning the house top to bottom and spraying Lysol on every conceivable surface in the house. Lysol is my friend. I have wondered if you could have a form of Lysol for people. I know it's called medication. But think if you will how much easier, if you could just spray them down and all the virus and bacteria they were carrying just went away. They wouldn't be contagious anymore and everyone could just get on with it. But hey that's just me looking for the easiest way to take care of things. This is why I use frozen mashed potatoes and have never cut up a whole chicken in my life when you can buy it already cut, chopped, or diced already. It just makes life easier. It also brings your meals to the table considerably faster.

So this evening my daughter spent some time getting all of her homework caught up and then had some tests to study for. One of these tests being a vocabulary test, which she asked me to help her study for. The following is how that exchange when.

What does "retentive" mean C? It means to tent again, because re means again. (This is what I have been living through tonight during the great finish homework and study for a ton of tests fest.) So I read the sentence in the book which is "A retentive memory is a great asset for any actor, especially one who performs on stage." She says yeah I wish I had one. I said, yeah me too maybe then you could remember what "retentive" means. What does premonition mean? Uh? Consequence? NO! While she thinks about this. I'll tell you what I think. I have a premonition that she is not going to pass this test if she doesn't figure this out. So I explain it like this. Premonition Pre means to come before. Be-FORE - Forewarning. Pre-before-forewarning. Premonition-pre-before-forewarning. Of course, with my inability to keep on task while saying "fore" I had to look up The Gettysburg Address, so we could go into Four score and seven years ago. Which doesn't at all help, because then we started talking about our D.C. trip we took last school year and the Ford Theatre. So you see where she gets it.

In my previous blog I mentioned that I was looking for a job. This week I put in an application at one of the elementary schools in our district. Today I took a test on facebook that said that I should be an elementary school teacher. I suppose we should be thanking God at this point that it didn't say I should be a high school teacher, as the previous play by play of our study habits show you how good I'd be at teaching a high school student. If this child fails this test I only have myself to blame. Actually my child is very bright and gets grades I could only dream of having in school. Fortunately for all involved she gets that from her father. She also gets her affinity for jeans and t-shirts from him but that's a subject for another story.

I can only imagine what kind of teacher I would be. I have a friend that said she thought I'd be a good one. This friend doesn't know me well. All she sees is that I like kids and some of them seem to like me alright. Although the children she sees me with every other week are preschoolers. It's really not that difficult to look like a rock star to a preschooler. They are very easily bribed. You just give them some goldfish crackers and water and they are set. They will play, they will smile and pretty much behave like angels till the parents arrive to pick them up. It's not rocket science. High school however, is a completely different animal. Here I am fourteen almost fifteen years after having my first child and I'm just now getting the hang of the little kids. I haven't a clue what I'm doing with teenagers.

I suppose all I really need to do is talk facebook and twitter and know all my texting jargon. If you can speak the language, I figure you are at least in the game. I told my high schooler that when I was in high school I took a shorthand class. She had no idea what I was talking about I told her it was like texting only instead of using ttyl or brb it basically looks like squiggles. Texting jargon is easier to learn and I don't remember any shorthand even though I at one time could take it 60 words per minute. It must be a lost art like writing letters. No one writes letters anymore. They e-mail snail mail is out.

So I suppose we will be waiting by the phone till someone decides if they think I would do a good job working with hormonal pre-teens at the last stage school before Jr. High. To my credit I have gotten two of the three through that school pretty well unscathed. If it doesn't work out I figure I can ask around and see if I can get hired to clean OPH(other people's houses). I've been cleaning my own since infinity so I think I could handle that. Just don't ask me to work in food service. That wouldn't be good for anyone involved. When my children got their flu bug they were convinced it was my cooking and they had food poisoning. It couldn't possibly be the flu. It was the flu as none of the rest of us got sick and we at the same things. This was good news and I considered the possibility myself.

Well that's all from this side of the burbs for now. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.