Saturday, June 26, 2010

Have Pants, Will Wear Correctly!

My family and I just got back from a getaway. My husband and I take our children to an amusement park every year. This year we went to Kings Island and took in a Cincinnati Reds game. A great time was had by all, but on this outing I discovered something quite disturbing. While walking through said amusement park which also has a water park built in, you tend to find many walking around the park in swim attire. Usually with shorts and a shirt covering it up for the girls and shirts with swim trunks for the boys. This year however, I noticed something that had me wanting to report "Houston we have a problem!"

We have all seen those kids with their pants hanging down. American Idol had a contestant this year who had written a song about it. You can buy it on iTunes. "Pants on the ground" is sweeping the nation. What I did not anticipate was to see it venture over to the girls. The shorts are getting so short for girls, if you are getting over the age of 18 you can barely find a pair of shorts that don't look like they belong on a 6 yr. old. But this...this is going a bit too far. I saw more than one girl walking around the park in a bikini top and short shorts that they didn't even bother to zip or button. Honestly? The shorts barely covered the bottoms and if you are just going to leave them open so everyone can see them anyway, why bother? Are the shorts too tight? Were they embarrassed to lie on the ground to get them zipped? Were they too lazy to button them? Did they not have opposable thumbs and were afraid to ask for help? Have we all entered the Garden of Eden and decided to walk around naked? Surely someone has answers to these questions.

As some of you may know when I get ready to leave my house, I think about what I'm wearing. I have seen enough "What Not To Wear" that I can sometimes hear Stacy and Clinton in my head accessing what I've chosen. I try to determine if what I've chosen is appropriate for the occasion. I don't go gallivanting around town looking like I'm going to the gym if the gym isn't my destination. I don't wear short shorts because I'm not 6 yrs old and who wants to see an old lady with the moon coming out of her shorts? I don't wear softball clothes to church, and I wouldn't dream of going to a doctor's office without makeup and some kind of nice clothes because even if you are sick you aren't dead so don't look like it. You get the picture I try to be both age and circumstance appropriate. Also even though I have a wig with long hair that I adore I never wear it in public and sometimes wear it around the house with my tiara so I can feel like a princess. But you didn't hear that part from me.

On Steel Magnolias (only one of the best movies for quotes ever made) one of the gals says she hasn't left the house without Lycra on her thighs since she was a teenager. The other lady says that is because she was raised right! Which leads me to wondering... Who has raised these girls to think it is OK to walk around like that? Honestly doesn't anyone parent their children anymore? Sure you can make the argument that these girls were probably college age as they were with boys and without parents at the amusement park. But what about their upbringing before hand? Did nothing sink in? Didn't their father or mother ever once say "There is no way you are leaving this house looking like that!" As a mother I had an overwhelming desire to get a big towel to cover them up, call their mama's, and tell those boys to close their eyes. What happened to dignity and self respect?

OK I'm old. I am old fashioned. I have daughters who ever once thought about leaving the house or walking around in a public domain like these girls I would tie up and never let them leave again. Of course any boy who even wants to consider taking one of my daughters on a date will have to pass inspection. If they bring them home late? There had better have been a phone call and a tow truck involved. They come in looking at my child inappropriately they can turn right around and leave. This old bird is having none of that! I do know how to swing a frying pan and I'm not afraid to use it. And no boy who ever wants to date my daughter would want to date a girl who walks around with her body on display for the entire world to see.

So please listen to me when I say this. If you are a young gal or even an older gal. Think would you? When you are thinking about what to wear, think to yourselves. Do these pants fasten? Do they cover all vital parts? Do I want to walk around with my chest heaving out so that one wrong move and we have a Janet Jackson Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction? I understand being away from home and not thinking you will see anyone you know. But do you really want people you don't know looking at what God gave you? Seriously, even thinking about going to the OB/GYN makes me nauseous. Therefore I don't go. I cannot imagine the train of thought that goes into dressing so scantily. I don't even wear anything less than a one piece swimsuit in my backyard in my privacy fence if we have company. In fact I won't get in the pool and I wear my cover up the entire time if in mixed company. If I do get in, usually it's because I get pushed in or it's so hot I can't take it but I cover up immediately after getting out. I'm pushing 40 over here, whatever I have left isn't anything anyone wants or needs to see anyway. In fact unless you have a personal trainer, there should be laws against such things. So think girls. Remember, we have clothes for a reason. Use them wisely!

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