How Do You See Me?

I wonder what you see when you see me. One Sunday in Sunday school we were discussing people's perceptions of us. I have often wondered what people see when they see me. Do they see what I see? Do they see what God sees? Do they see something completely different? I wonder if they see the truth or what they want to see.

Every morning I look in the mirror as most of us often do. I see aging. I see my mother if truth be told. Often I look in the mirror and say “hi mom.” It's funny isn't it? The passage of time. It slips away in this busy hustle and bustle of daily life without us hardly noticing. Until one day we look in the mirror and see our mothers or our fathers as the case may be.

When I look I see someone who really just doesn't have it all together. I wait too long to color my hair. I fall off the wagon every time when it comes to diets or “life style changes.” Again I see a scared little girl who wants to stand out just enough for people to be her friend but not so much to draw too much attention. I see a mother who would do anything at all for her kids and struggles with letting go. I see someone who starts things that rarely get finished.

But in light of all of that I wonder what would happen, how different my life would be if when I looked in the mirror I saw what God sees. And taking it further what if the people around me could do the same. What if when we all looked at each other we saw each other as God sees each and every one of us? As beautiful. As wonderful, unique creations designed by God. As someone worth dying for.

Did you know? Did you know that you are loved so much that you are worth dying for? I listen to KLOVE ALL the time. There is a song they have been playing lately called Someone worth Dying for by Mikeschair. I wonder if you have ever thought of yourself that way. I have to say for myself that would be a no. I tend to think of myself as so unworthy that it escapes me how God could still love me. But I am human and I don't think like God. Which is a relief I can assure you. Because I would have done away with me a long time ago. I wonder if perhaps we could all look at ourselves and those around us, not as our human eyes see the outward appearance, but maybe what we have the potential of being. How God sees us. As His beautiful creation, someone worth dying for, someone with potential to fulfill His will for our lives.

How amazing could our attitudes be towards others as well as ourselves? Could we all see each other as works in progress. As people worth getting to know and love, regardless of social status. Whether you are the prom queen, the nerd, the CEO, or the maid. What if... we were just loved creations of God. What if....

Play Time or Hey I Got A JOB

On a summer day in early August I received a request from a friend and neighbor of mine. She had gotten a job as a preschool teacher and was in need of an assistant in her classroom. I won't lie and tell you that I jumped at the chance to help a friend in need. In all actuality my first response to her was similar to “Oh? I'm so sorry for you. I'm sure they will find someone to work with you.”

Was I already working somewhere? No. In fact I had been home for two or three years after having worked in a preschool previously. Plus I was kind of really enjoying my life at home. I had a pretty stressful schedule going on. For example when the kids were in school after they got on the bus I would sit in my chair and watch Boy Meets World and What I Like About You on ABC Family. When they were over I would get up and start my day. I had lunch dates with friends. I cleaned my house and I ran my kids around. Also I had a pretty good feeling that this year would be the year that I would finally master the churn the butter dance I do while cleaning and I was going to find the perfect hair brush for singing into. So as you can see I had a lot going on.

On top of that my year at the previous preschool was the single most stressful experience of my life. Becoming a mother for the first time was less stressful. My twenty four hours of labor was less stressful. I was there during a time of transition, a time when you do not want to be stuck in the middle. A time when you do not want to be going back into the workforce and this be your first experience back.

That job caused me physical pain from the stress. I would wake up and not be able to move my neck to either side because of the stress. I was determined to finish the year. I did, but I had no desire to go back. I went back home and stayed where I was happy and content. It was great. I liked it a lot. I was able to go on day time dates with my husband. I was able to have quality time at home, redecorating and making it a place I could spend my time and not want to leave. And I didn't leave unless I had to.

It's funny to me how one minute you can think everything is just as you want it. Then God has another plan. I really like His plans. While having my conversation with my friend I told her that I really couldn't do it because I had already committed to helping with MOPS. So they would have to be willing to work around that. She said let me make a call and ask. Well she made her call and I was told I had to call this new director and talk to her. Let me just say this was a new director that happens to have the same first name as the director that we had had previously. So of course I had questions about this woman I was to call.

I couldn't have been more leery to call this woman. I made the call. What I first thought was that she sounded excited. This was new. As we talked I started feeling more at ease. So when she asked if I could come in to speak to her I said sure. I was there thirty five minutes later. We sat down and chatted like old friends and thirty minutes later I had the job. Every single excuse I could come up with to Not take the job, she responded with reasons why I should.

So far this experience has been what I had hoped my previous experience would have been. I love it. I look forward to it. As I sit here writing this I'm wondering what art project we are going to get to do tomorrow. Also I'm kind of liking having a reason to get dressed up again. I did spend some time living in sweats and while they are comfortable, they were getting old. I think it's going to be a good year. A relaxing, let's go play in the paint, go on a bear hunt, have a snack, and read some stories kind of year. I wonder if maybe this is what was missing from my good time I was having before. The opportunity to go and have a good time with others. God knew just what was missing. I'm so glad He knew the right time and right place to fill me back up.

A Letter to My Teenage Self and My Teenagers

I have two teenage girls. If you have teenage girls you know what that means. While I was once a teenage girl myself, I will admit that while I do know what it is to be a teenage girl in the 80's I do not know what it is to be one in 2011. I have often thought to myself that I wish I knew then what I know now. If only right? My girls are a bit shy my oldest more so. They are quiet I was the same but only until I got to know you. Then as well as now, once I know you I never shut up. I can talk all day long one on one. There are a few things that if I could go back in time I would clue myself into about the future. So here is what I would let myself know just to make the transition a bit smoother. They are also things that I try to tell my children but I am mom and know nothing about being a kid.

Dear Teenage Me,

You are not crazy. Remember the movie Back to the Future? This is a bit like that. I've come to tell you that things are going to get so much better. The following are some things you should know.

1. Friends don't let friends get perms. Just don't do it. I know it's the style. I know that you think big hair is what is in. I also know you want to be Whitney Houston, but you are a white country girl with not a lick of wave in your hair. Plus when it's growing out there is nothing attractive about it.

2. Never be afraid to talk to people. You are a beautiful creation from God. You are worthy to speak to any of God's creations. People are just people. Anyone who doesn't see the beauty within doesn't deserve your friendship.

3. Join the band. Learning a musical instrument is not at all geeky. It is a lifelong skill. Someday when you are older while you may rock at air guitar and air piano, you will wish there were an instrument you could play.

4. The male species is not on the extinction list. There will always be boys. The right boy will support your dreams and encourage you to pursue them. He will also have dreams of his own. The right boy will dream along with you.

5. Do not be afraid to dream BIG. The country we live in was founded on big dreams. If you want to be a scientist be one. If you want to be ballerina be one. You can do anything you set your mind to and more. You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. I know you may not be reading anything but school books but pick up the bible. Read it and pray and ask for guidance. Here is a clue God's plan is always better than the one you have for yourself.

6. Someday you will say "because I said so", "shape up or ship out", and a slew of other things that drive you crazy about your mom. You may even forever traumatize them with the story of how they were born. But it's OK because it is entirely possible that they will become nuns because of it, thereby ensuring that you don't have to worry about teenage pregnancy. You will probably refer to "the good old days" and not be referring to the 50's or 60's.

7. Lycra is your friend and one day you will not be appalled by a push up bra, it will be your friend too.

8. Don't be a hurry to grow up. Once you are there you will be a grown up the rest of your life. Take time to be a kid. When you are a grown up try to remember how you used to collect willy worms and didn't gross out. You killed them in a jar of course but they were cool.

9. Television goes down hill in the future. Sitcoms disappear and scripted "reality shows" take over. Don't worry you can introduce your future children to good television via DVD. DVD is like VHS only cooler.

10. What goes up, must go down. Just remember that someday things will sag so take care of all your parts. If you take care of them it makes them easier to pick back up. (This is where the padded bra takes effect.)

I'm sure there are more. Things like be careful of the sun but stay in constant communication with the Son of God. People will come and go from your life but God will always stay with you. You are never ever alone. "Stay golden" (Outsiders reference)and "never stop reaching for the stars". (Yeah I looked that one up I was thinking Star Search)

Last but not least a good sense of humor is a terrible thing to waste.