Wednesday, October 21, 2015

It Was Yesterday

This morning I woke up before the rest of the family.  The house is silent aside from the dryer that I started because the laundry must go on.  There was a beautiful sunrise outside the window.  We've been so busy this week already that it is nice to enjoy the quiet.  We live in a small neighborhood south of a small town that has exactly one stoplight.  There are no wild parties here and rarely do you hear a train on the tracks down the road.  We know 95% of our neighbors and it is the kind of neighborhood where you can borrow an egg or even a can of soup and everyone is happy to help.  People walk their dogs, kids ride their bikes, and the tree in our front yard puts on quite the colorful display in the fall.  The tree is named Larry.  What?  You don't name your trees?  We also have a small tree named Oscar.  The kids, when they were very small, named them when they were planted.
This has been our home for fifteen years.  We have updated the flooring, we have added on, we have had parties here, we have said goodbye to family pets here.  As I sit here and look at the life spent here and the for sale sign in the yard I can't help but wonder why it hasn't sold.  We brought our third child home to this house.  The girls once took crayons and made big giant circles on the walls in the family room, so the entire house has been painted a few times as well.  So many memories...

The time got away from me. It was only a moment ago.  I'm sure I just blinked.  In the span of a blink I went from graduating college to taking not only my first child but my second child on college visits. In the time it took me to turn around they weren't little anymore they were graduating high school and planning their futures. In the space of a moment  I went from nursing my son and playing head, shoulders, knees and toes to him being taller than me and almost a teenager.  All I did was blink and they weren't babies anymore.

The time is goes so fast and yet so slow.  Funny how that works.  It seems to take forever to get somewhere and seconds to get back.  They couldn't wait to grow up and now they can't go back. There are so many things I should have done with them.  In a few short years they will be thrust out into the working world and the only things they know how to make are frozen pizza, mac n cheese, and only one of them can make a baked potato.  Will they starve?  Is high cholesterol in their future from processed food because they freaked out over raw meat every time I tried to get them to participate in making dinner?  Can they survive on those things and lunch meat sandwiches?  Does this make me a failure?  They were 5 years old and 4 years old and I blinked and they were 19 years old and 18 years old.  They were watching Blues Clues now they are watching YouTube.

It was yesterday and a lifetime ago.  I'm not sure what happens next week much less next year.  All I can do is enjoy the journey.  Pay attention to the now while still dreaming of the future.  See them as the teenagers they are and not wish it away lest they be 30 tomorrow and I miss it.  I can't wait to see God's plan for all of us.

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