Sometimes God Has a Better Plan

I grew up an only child in a home that was far from happy. My mother tried to make a family with these ingredients: One woman with child, one man who hates kids, one stubborn smart mouth kid, mix, stir, and shake till chaos ensues. I dreamed of having an older brother to beat people up for me( because I was far from the popular kid in school) and a little sister so I could do her hair. I spent my entire childhood fighting. Fighting with mom, fighting with her mentally unstable husband, and fighting to get through school alive.

When I was a teenager I knew three things for certain; 1. I would never get married, 2. I would never have kids, and 3. I would move as far away as possible. If you went to school with me you would often hear me say things like "you know statistics say if your parents don't have kids you wont either." I was going to go college become a big time buyer for Bloomingdale's, live in the city and eat food I couldn't pronounce, and not only spend my free time shopping but spend my work time shopping for the world.

Sometimes I think about what could have or would have been had my life gone down that path. As a now married woman with three kids who didn't move but 10 miles from the house she grew up in, I would have had an exciting life, I would have had the best wardrobe money could buy and I would have died alone. I need only to look at my children's faces and hold the hand of my husband to know that God had a better plan for me.

I would have missed out on so much had I followed the path I wanted for myself. It's not all been a path of roses and chocolate. My oldest child was an emergency c-section, my middle child was speech delay and didn't speak for 4 year and often would resort to hitting or pulling her hair out to get her message across. After all that I was sure I was done. I sold everything and said I have all I can handle. God had a better plan and 5 years after my youngest daughter was born we had a bouncing bundle of joy in my son. I shudder to think what my life would have been without any of them. I cannot imagine a life where they don't exist. I have lost my grandmother, my mother, and two of my aunts, I have lost the only grandfather I ever knew. I as per my childhood see my father on birthdays, Christmas, and special occasions.

I have no brothers to sisters except three steps I rarely see and didn't get till I was 25. Would they drop everything and come if I were in need? I'm not so sure. I have read where friends are the family that you choose for yourself. I believe that is true but I also believe that God has a hand in sending them your way. In that respect my family is overflowing. Sometimes God has a better plan. I have a sister I picked her out myself, she lives an hour in a half away and we talk weekly. She will drop everything and come if I need her. I would do the same for her.

So you see, I didn't become the buyer for Bloomingdale's, I became the buyer for the family. I didn't get the big degree but I can kiss boo boos and have garage sales with the best of them. I didn't move to the big city but now I'm scared to drive on interstates so that worked out well too. I grew up, got married, had children, and although my beginnings were far from ideal, God had a better plan. All those things helped to form who I would become today and who I became was a happily married woman with a real family just like I always dreamed but never thought possible. God ALWAYS has a better plan than the one we have for ourselves.