My first book’s subtitle is “And Other Observations
from an Overly Dramatic Mom,” so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that my
teenage girls are overly dramatic as well.
The most recent instance happened with my middle child, as she was upset about someone
who had answered a question for her. She had been to youth group and
someone asked a question. She didn’t
respond quickly enough so someone answered for her to the best of their
ability. Because the answer was not
fully correct, she felt it wasn’t that person’s place to answer for her.
It’s partly her fault, anyway. She has a bad habit
of not answering direct questions. Don’t
expect a response from her unless she is in the mood to talk. If she isn’t in the mood, she tends to stare
at you like you just dropped down from another planet, like she thinks 1) you
are stupid for not calling ahead to ask her a question or 2) for showing up to
talk to her in the first place. Imagine
how this goes over when she is in trouble and I am disciplining her. I have explained to her many times that she needs
to be quicker with her answers. I also
explained that she was being excessively dramatic about the situation, and it
wasn’t really that big of a deal.
High school is punishment enough for a quiet
kid. In my effort to get my quiet girls
to open up and blossom into the lovely ladies I know they must be (deep down
where only God and I can see), I have them go to Youth Group. They are put into small groups and are really
expected to open up and share with others.
In my mind, which is really just a playground for all sorts of mayhem, I
think this is good.
When I am giving my sermons on the bed, I tend to
tell stories about my own experiences and I also like to give a math
lesson. Although math is not my strong
suit, I am delighted when I am able to do quick math on the fly. I have explained to my children that high
school is only 180 days per year. There are 365 days in a year total, and
really in the greater scheme of things, high school isn’t that long of a time in
your life. So they shouldn’t get so worked up about things. One day they will blink, and it will be over.
At that point, they will look in the mirror and try to figure out how they got
to be so old as to have teenagers themselves. (Something I do daily.)
I started a new job this year, so in trying to
explain that it’s OK to talk to new or different people, I told her about my
job. How I didn’t know what I was
getting into necessarily, but I had heard different things, so I had a starting
point. Truth be told, I knew names, but
only the names of a few of the people in the building. It can be just as hard for an adult as it is
for a young person to make new friends.
The secret, I told her, was that you have to understand just one key
point about all people. ALL people are just
trying to find their way in the world.
Some are better at it than others, but the fact is that we are all alike
in our humanness, and in our humanness none of us is perfect. As soon as you get that part of reality, it
makes it a lot easier to talk to people.
I also shared that I was given a bag of Hershey Hugs
from the teacher I work with, and that I often walk down the hallway on my way
to make copies and hand some out to people.
Some of them I know better than others, but I think that everyone can
use a hug now and then. Why not go up to
people and hand them a chocolate hug, and wish them a good day? If I arrive at my building early, I go room to room and drop a hug on everyone’s
desk. When I’m not early, I pass them
out to those I pass in the hall.
I may or may not ever be a part of the group that is
already there, as some of them have worked together for years. But even so, how
much better is it to smile and say hello or hand someone a chocolate hug, than
to go through the halls worrying about fitting in? I don’t concern myself with that stuff
anymore.
I explained to my daughter that it doesn’t matter if
I fit in. What matters is if I’m doing a good job and I’m bringing glory to
God. The way I figure it, if she goes to
school and she smiles and talks to whomever she comes in contact with, and she
is right with God, everything else will fall into place.
She said that if the Mayans were correct and the end
of the world comes this year, high school isn’t going to matter much. I told her that I don’t believe that the
Mayans were privy to when Jesus was going to come back and take us to heaven,
but even if they were, it’s a much better use of her time to live each day as God
has intended, than to worry about what anyone else thinks of her.
And if the Mayans were correct (and not just tired
of writing and counting as I suspect), then what a great day it will be when we
do get to go to heaven and be at home with our Father at last.
