Sunday, October 6, 2013

When Fears Come True, God is There

On Friday we left a little later than normal for school.  My daughter turned to go to her school and I turned to go to mine.  I went in was getting situated when I realized I left my homework (a.k.a. laminating I took home to cut out) on the coffee table.  I live maybe three minutes from the school I work at so I got back in the car and went to pick it up.  As I was getting out of the car at school for the second time all the sirens started flying passed the school.  Police cars and ambulances flew down the road.  A co-worker who was walking in at the same time as I was informed me that there had been an accident in front of the high school.  She had called her daughter and she was fine and told me to call my girls.

My heart sped up.  When she described where it was located I knew it wouldn't be my kids.  They would be coming from the other direction.  I tried calling both girls' answer.  I texted both answer.  The school and my surroundings began to blur.  All reason left me and my heart dropped to the point of not being able to function until I knew they were ok.  I eventually went to the room that co-worker works in and asked her to call and find out if my kids were ok.  Her husband  happens to be the principal at the high school.  It should be noted here that I had tears in my eyes and I may have looked a little crazed.  She called and my kids were fine.  No students were involved in the accident.

Saturday my oldest daughter was up early and out the door going to breakfast with my husband before going to take the SAT.  My husband worked at a flu clinic and was home late morning.  My son left with his cub scout leader to go sell popcorn around 11:30.  A little after 1:00 PM I left with my middle child to head to the next town over to get lunch and look for a book she wanted for a book club at school.  We went to a hamburger place and ordered our food.  We got our drinks and ketchup and sat down to wait for our food.  I checked my phone.  My husband was calling.  I answered the phone and I heard the words I had feared hearing from the moment my daughter started driving.  His words were "Daphne has been in an accident.  You need to call the cub scout leader and ask if Scotty can hang out with them for a little while, then you need to get in the car and drive home."  My stomach turned over.  I called the scout leader, asked for our food, and we got in the car and started driving home.

I was calculating which way to get home.  Deciding which route would get us home the fastest.  I drove without speaking.  Megan didn't speak either.  KLOVE is all I usually ever listen to on the radio and it was on.  I started singing along with the music as I prayed that my child was going to be OK.  I knew she wasn't in the hospital and that was a good sign.  As we got closer to home I called to see if they were home or still at the scene.  They were still at the scene.  We went there.  As we approached we saw lights and a large truck but couldn't make out what kind of truck.  It was a tow truck and my girl's cute little car was on it.  She was standing next to her father.  There were other people there.  I didn't stop to talk and barely noticed they were there.  I blew right past them to grab a hold of my child and pull her close..  Her sister taking in the scene was terrified and looked on.

Shortly after we arrived, we left.  Daphne riding with her father and Megan riding with me.  We got home first and Megan broke down, crying in fear and relief that her sister was OK.  They arrived shortly after. We got the story.   She was turning left and was hit by someone and pushed into another car.  Her airbag deployed.  She is bruised on her chest and neck and her glasses had been knocked off and thrown onto the floor.  Her knee is bruised.  She is stiff and sore.  She is afraid.  She is scared to leave the house.  We made her leave the house with us today and go to church and a festival.

We have told her stories of all the wrecks we have had.  Sometimes deer jump out at you twice in two weeks.  (We eventually moved.  That was a big enough of a sign for me that we should move.)  Sometimes people behind you don't pay attention and they slam into you from behind.  Sometimes accidents just happen.  It is OK to be scared but it isn't OK to stop living out of fear.  We don't own a horse and buggy and besides that horses are just as unpredictable as other crazy drivers.  My grandfather was killed by a horse.  We aren't going to get a horse plus I don't think the cats would like a horse if they don't like other cats.

Her car is out of commission which means I will be driving everyone to and from school for awhile.  I don't know how long she will be without her car.  I don't even know if it can be repaired.  It looks like a lot of damage and her car is an older car.  I don't care about the car.  A car can be replaced.  My child can not and the level of thankfulness that God protected my child and she is here is immeasurable.  I just need my child to be able to release her fear.  I need her to trust that God will protect her just as he did Saturday afternoon.  I need to be able to release my own fears even though I sang praises to God all the way home and there is no limit to the amount of grace and love and protection He has shown, I need to be able to let her get behind the wheel of a car and not be scared.

Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave your nor forsake you.  Deuteronomy 31:6.  God never left her and he has never left me.  Even when we haven't been strong or courageous.  Even when we have been afraid and terrified.  We have been all of those things.  The range of emotions have taken their toll but I am placing my trust in my God who will never leave us.  In the God who will heal us from this just as he has healed us from the trials of our past.  Our God is faithful, we will be too.  If I could, I would ask you to pray with us and for us as we heal and as we help our daughter move pass this and her fear as well as our own.  The next few days we will be finding out what happens next and if her car can be repaired or if we go searching for another one.  Also pray for the person who hit her.  Thank you for your willingness to pray.

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