Monday, May 9, 2011

To Zumba....Or Not?

Zumba. Zumba is what everyone is doing these days. If you don't know Zumba is an exercise class that you dance in. I have several friends who go to Zumba classes. I also have several friends who teach Zumba classes. All of them have tried to get me to take the class. (which makes me wonder how I got so many friends that can dance so well) Every time I turn them down. I have tried to explain it to them. They just don't seem to get it. Here is the problem. I lost all my moves in the post natal drip.

That's right. I lost them all. When I was young I took seven years of dance classes. I was not at all the best dancer in any of my classes but I could move. At school dances I was great. I may have had glasses as large as my face and big hair, but I could move on a dance floor. I went to all the school dances. I loved them. It was a chance to hang out with my friends and do what I loved doing... dancing.

I still love to dance. I just don't do it well. In fact my dancing has been reduced to a few token moves. I can “start the mower.” I can “churn the butter.” I can “Q-tip.” I “hula hoop.” There is not a single line dance that I can do. I can't do the mashed potato. I don't even mash potatoes in the kitchen, I buy them frozen. I had kids and I turned into a mommy. I can do many other things, but moving in a fashion that looks remotely like good dancing is not one of them.

Some skills that I now have are: I can talk on the phone, cook dinner, check homework, and let the cat out at the same time. I can do laundry, tell kids to do their chores, and catch up on recordings at the same time. I can cook dinner, read a book, and enjoy an ice tea at the same time. You know this may be the underlying cause as to why I'm really not that good of a cook. I'm always doing other things while I'm cooking. I can play a Sing It game on the Wii, look up an answer on Google, and listen to a story by another child at the same time. I can chase a toddler while talking on the phone and fixing lunch at the same time. So my multitasking skills are up to par.

I do usually dance around my house weekly. When no one is home. But I will be plugged into the iPod, singing loudly, and mopping floors and doing laundry at the same time. In my mind, I dance like a superstar. In reality I dance like Elaine from Seinfeld. It's a side effect from having children. I had kids and my feet got bigger, my rear got bigger, I lost my sense of smell, and my ability to dance. I also became an even bigger klutz than I was before. So when I do dance sometimes I run into the furniture. Also I think stretching may be important. I'm not sure, but I do know I can't move like I used to. So I would prefer to think it's because I don't stretch first and not that I'm so old that I just can't move that way anymore. (which who are we kidding, that is the case.)

So maybe I am too scared to Zumba with people I know. Maybe I am afraid I'll twirl when I'm supposed to turn, and twirl right into someone causing a chain reaction and maybe breaking a body part that would be necessary for getting home. But maybe I just don't think I can do it if I'm not on the phone and checking homework or sweeping at the same time.

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