The Theater Loves Me...Sorta

My two youngest children are going to be in the local theater's production of Willy Wonka this summer. We are all VERY excited. This is the first time they have participated in the civic theater so going in we knew nothing about procedures or even really any of the people there. So of course it was extremely exciting when one of them gets a main character role. Tonight I did learn something though. Apparently the length of time it takes me to feel comfortable in the theater around virtual strangers is equivalent to: two auditions and one full read through. Tonight was the second rehearsal and I was talking to people as though we were long lost friends. Perhaps at times they looked at me as though I were the long lost friend they abandoned because they thought I was crazy, but long lost friends nonetheless.

I have spent the week trying to get all my chores done around the house, fit in time individually with each one of the children each day, finish something, anything really (which has yet to happen as the laundry is continuous as is every other chore on the list, as well as any extras), getting ready for rummage, getting 4H projects ready for turning in. I think it's possible given that I'm normally very reserved around people I don't really know that I was just so excited to have some adults to talk to I got a little carried away. I suppose it is possible that other adults do not adapt that quickly with people they hadn't laid eyes on before last week. The upside to all of this given the fact that it is entirely possible that they will all be trying not to sit in my general area, is that I will at least be known for something in the theater that is perhaps not that bad. I could be the overbearing parent wanting their child to be the star and be completely strict on time constraints, or I could be the indifferent parent that acts like they don't want to be there and that it is a waste of my time to even show up, nope not me I'm the parent who thinks we are all new besties and that wants to help with sets and things as the director once said that they may need help with that sort of thing. Oh and the one who may just be crazy. But I'm now known in the theater and in my mind they love me. Who wouldn't? The theater is full of crazy people I should fit right in!

Hello Dolly! or I Like Your Smile.

Dolly Parton said "If you see someone without a smile, give 'em yours." Sometimes I like to take it one step further. If I see someone who looks to be in a particularly bad mood I like to smile and cross my eyes at the same time. (This works better if they aren't a carrying member of the NRA. If they are, remember that it's harder to hit a moving target. So MOVE!)

The wise Dolly Parton also said "I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb, I also know I'm not blond!" I find this amazingly charming and poignant for the following reasons: 1. I think she is wonderfully intelligent and talented and hello? she is obviously very smart to have an entire amusement park named for her, and 2. If she remembers she isn't a blond she must remember her natural hair color. I find this entertaining because the woman is over 60 yrs old and still remembers her natural hair color. I can't remember what color my hair was last week. I do know there is a lot more grey than I care to mention.

Can you imagine how many people you'd have to smile at to get them to smile if all the women in the world could remember their natural hair color? We'd all be in front of the mirror at night doing facial exercises to get ready for the next day of smiling. Don't get me wrong I smile daily at friends and strangers alike, but wouldn't it just be exhausting to watch all those people using 43 muscles to frown when they could use just 17 to smile? So this is my public service message for the evening: Forget your natural hair color and smile. And as a wise woman named Dolly likes to say "Smile it increases your face value!"

Just say no to Coffee and yes to Latte!

There is something to be said for a tall skinny milky way latte' and all of it is good. I would like to confess something. I am not a coffee drinker. My mother was a coffee drinker. She used to drink coffee with every meal, Folgers was her friend and she liked it straight up. No milk, no cream, no sugar, nada nothin doing. Now let me tell you I will now drink coffee IF you cannot taste the coffee. Let me introduce you to some friends of mine. They are named sugar, mocha, caramel, milk, cream, pretty much anything you can dump into a coffee to hide the fact that it is coffee is my friend. My friend and I once went to Le Peep restaurant for breakfast and I ordered one of my friends it was served with whip cream and a straw. When she saw this she cracked up. She said THAT is NOT coffee that is dessert. I have to admit it did look a bit like a dessert but if it has coffee in it, it still counts as a coffee right?

As we all know I try to justify most things that I consume. If ice cream has fruit in it that counterbalances all fat grams thereby making it health food with fruit and dairy food groups being represented. So wouldn't it stand to reason that if coffee is decaf with sugar free syrups and skim milk be kind of a wash all the way around? How can that be a bad thing? Especially when it's basically a give me?

If my mother could only see me now. Driving thru Starbucks with my "free money" because it's a gift card and even though I purchased it, it's free coffee because I am not actually handing over cash. Buying instant coffee singles and flavored creams so when my "free money" runs out I can still get my fix. What would the woman who raised me who used to drink actual coffee think of the child who grew up saying "How on earth can you drink that? It is so gross!" I think if she were still here she would say what I say and what my friend Christi says. I am not a coffee drinker, I'm a dessert in a warm mug drinker. :)